Archive for the Parentiing and sex Category

Truth

Posted in Parentiing and sex with tags , , on October 4, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

As I waited for the rest of the family to clear their dinner plates …
Jnr: Truth or dare?
How did Jnr get to an age where this is the game being played during lunch break at school? Jeez! Soon it’ll be time to sit down and talk about the birds and the bees. A time when, as parents we will have to open Pandora’s Box. I wonder who would be a more inappropriate educator: my Wife, cripplingly indifferent about sex, or me, cripplingly obsessed by it?

Jrn: Truth or dare?
The question was repeated.

I felt Continue reading

Nothing to see here

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Parentiing and sex, Random stuff about sex with tags , , on September 3, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

You’ve booked a week in a self catering holiday cottage.
On arriving, you take your suitcases to the bedrooms.
One room has a double bed. Ok. That’s for the adults.
The other bedroom has two single beds. Intended for kids, right?
Right.
So explain this …

Her: Have you looked on the bookshelf in the kids’ room?
Me:
No?
Her:
There’s a Continue reading

Collar and cuffs

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Parentiing and sex, The Red Torsolette, Underwear with tags , , on June 12, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

We were heading out to a big family get-together; the sort where smart dress was de rigueur. I couldn’t help notice that amongst the clothes She’d laid out on the bed were The Infamous Red Bra and Panties. Conspicuously, although there was also a suspended belt, it wasn’t the one that matched.

As my Wife was getting dressed, and started to put Her blouse on, our youngest walked into the room and offered some advice:

Continue reading

Talc talk

Posted in Fetishwear, Parentiing and sex with tags , on January 30, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

I had to laugh.
[This is another one of those posts where you have to stick with me if you want anything about sex.]

I have no experience of verrucas. Despite spending more time in my youth beasting myself up and down swimming pools than I have latterly wasted on the sofa, I’ve never had a verruca. So as a Continue reading

Whips and chain-words

Posted in Parentiing and sex, Random stuff about sex with tags , on December 26, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

You know that family game where each person has to think of a word, Dear Reader, and the next person has to think of one that starts with the letter the last one ended in? Yeah, that’s the one. We (the family) were playing it in the car today. Except I was struggling to Continue reading

Don’t show me yours, I won’t show you mine

Posted in Parentiing and sex, Sex, Sexual politics on September 3, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Today the BBC has reported that a 14yr old boy has been officially recorded as having committed a sex crime.

He’s not raped or sexually assaulted anyone, but has sent a naked selfie of himself to a girl in his school. She then forwarded it on to others, and her details have also been registered. The consequences for both, I suspect, have turned out far greater than they could ever have imagined.

Sexting, especially amongst Continue reading

Call me old fashioned

Posted in Parentiing and sex, Sex toys with tags , on January 2, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

A couple of days before Xmas, walking through the local shopping centre, on a whim, I ducked into Ann Summers, just to have a look at who was shopping there. I always find sex shops fascinating, and more for the clientele that the products. Bragging aside, there’s not much in Continue reading

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