Archive for the Parentiing and sex Category

Sinful Sunday 396 – Bad dad

Posted in Parentiing and sex, Sinful Sunday with tags , , on November 10, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

As parents we all try to set a good example to our progeny – keep your room tidy, look after your toys, be respectful to others. The lessons we try to teach our kids range from beneficial to imperative, are seemingly endless … and largely unappreciated. Maybe when we’re old and incontinent they’ll make sure our geriatric incarceration is a comfortable one, and they’ll occasionally come and visit us in the home. Or that’s the received wisdom.

Sinful Sunday

In the meantime, Continue reading

DLS 20: Bad dad

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear, Parentiing and sex on October 23, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

There are some risks one shouldn’t take.
The sort of risks where one potentially puts others in jeopardy without their consent.
Not least in terms of their future.
So I probably shouldn’t have done it.
It’s not that I was actually putting anyone else directly at risk.
But …

My Wife is away on business again. Unusually for the second time in just a couple of weeks.
The date happens to coincide with Continue reading

Out the mouths of babes

Posted in Parentiing and sex with tags , , , on October 16, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Music is a big thing for me, and I’m proud to say I have had significant success passing that on to the next generation.
We were listening to Sally MacLennane by The Pogues as we drove home from school, the track’s details displayed on the dashboard screen.

Jnr: I like that.
Me: What’s that?
Jnr: Continue reading

Truth

Posted in Parentiing and sex with tags , , on October 4, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

As I waited for the rest of the family to clear their dinner plates …
Jnr: Truth or dare?
How did Jnr get to an age where this is the game being played during lunch break at school? Jeez! Soon it’ll be time to sit down and talk about the birds and the bees. A time when, as parents we will have to open Pandora’s Box. I wonder who would be a more inappropriate educator: my Wife, cripplingly indifferent about sex, or me, cripplingly obsessed by it?

Jrn: Truth or dare?
The question was repeated.

I felt Continue reading

Nothing to see here

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Parentiing and sex, Random stuff about sex with tags , , on September 3, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

You’ve booked a week in a self catering holiday cottage.
On arriving, you take your suitcases to the bedrooms.
One room has a double bed. Ok. That’s for the adults.
The other bedroom has two single beds. Intended for kids, right?
Right.
So explain this …

Her: Have you looked on the bookshelf in the kids’ room?
Me:
No?
Her:
There’s a Continue reading

Collar and cuffs

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Parentiing and sex, The Red Torsolette, Underwear with tags , , on June 12, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

We were heading out to a big family get-together; the sort where smart dress was de rigueur. I couldn’t help notice that amongst the clothes She’d laid out on the bed were The Infamous Red Bra and Panties. Conspicuously, although there was also a suspended belt, it wasn’t the one that matched.

As my Wife was getting dressed, and started to put Her blouse on, our youngest walked into the room and offered some advice:

Continue reading

Talc talk

Posted in Fetishwear, Parentiing and sex with tags , on January 30, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

I had to laugh.
[This is another one of those posts where you have to stick with me if you want anything about sex.]

I have no experience of verrucas. Despite spending more time in my youth beasting myself up and down swimming pools than I have latterly wasted on the sofa, I’ve never had a verruca. So as a Continue reading

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