Archive for the Random stuff about sex Category

Security questions

Posted in Random stuff about sex on June 9, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Computer: Enter your account name and password.
Me: I don’t fucking know my account name or password.
Computer: Please comfirm your account details.
Me: Oh just fuck off and Continue reading

Why wouldn’t you?

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , on May 10, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

A few weeks ago I woke from a dream about Her going down on me. Just as with Her real blow jobs, She was taking no more than my helmet in Her mouth, despite my gentle nudges forward.
Me: Could you suck more of my length, please?
I don’t think it was an unreasonable request. When giving head, a mouth is, in a sense, a surrogate pussy. I think it’s a fair assumption that most people, male and female, would be dissatisfied with only an inch of pussy penetration, and thus just getting your tip felated is not going to be the best oral sex.
Her: I couldn’t get any more in my mouth.
Me: You could, really.
Her: Don’t Continue reading

Of elephants and albatroses

Posted in Random stuff about sex on April 30, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

(Apologies to those trying to follow this debacle chronologically: The following was originally posted out of sequence, and should have been published after Later.)

There was no scheduled sex on Wednesday night. But on Thursday morning,
half and hour before the alarm, She gets up and goes to the bathroom. When She returns to bed She rests a hand on my shoulder.
I don’t respond. It’s not exactly a forthright expression of I want to fuck.
Eventually Continue reading

Sinful Sunday 314

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on April 15, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

After the previous night, I needed a shower.
[Note to self: Don’t take your phone into the bathroom – some nefarious hacker might take control of it’s camera.]
Sinful Sunday
Continue reading

They came in the post

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , on April 14, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

The letter box rattled and She walked into the hall.
Her: Lots of post.
She sifted the interesting envelopes from the obvious bills from the junk-mail.
Her: Have you ordeeed something?
Walking back into the livingroom, She handed over a Continue reading

Inconvenience stores

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , on March 21, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Supermarkets. In the States I believe their called Convenience Stores. Well, how about a little more convenience?

I felt horny as hell as I walked into the supermarket this morning. It wasn’t  afetish for semi skimmed milk, tinned lentils or laundry softener that got my cock stiffening, nor the fantasy of getting sucked off in the Continue reading

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