Archive for the Random stuff about sex Category

Random?

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on April 3, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Put an infinite number of monkeys in a room with typewriters, and eventually one of them would produce the entire works of Shakespeare. Such is the theoretical nature of Random. If something is truly random, every once in a while something that appears not to be random will inevitably occur. In theory.

I went to login to a website this evening, and … well, you know those irritating captcha codes – supposedly random characters that are really hard for computers to read and almost as hard for humans to read … well …

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Those nights …

Posted in Random stuff about sex on April 2, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Those nights when you look at porn …

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Wall the walk / Talk the talk

Posted in Fetishwear, Random stuff about sex, Underwear with tags , , , , on February 26, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Maybe it was coincidence. It could have been unrelated. Did there have to be a reason why I was feeling up?
I’d had a relatively productive day, and that surely has to be some sort of fillip?
Or maybe spending the day in rubber lingerie was the significant influence?

As I’d zipped up the zip-through latex briefs Continue reading

Part-eh?

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , on December 21, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

When you work as a freelancer, an invitation to a client’s Xmas party is more than welcome. A chance to actually meet some of the names you see on emails and the disembodied voices on phones. If it’s in a swanky bar and the drinks are on the house … even better!

For staffers, the stereotype sees colleagues sneaking off to the stationary cupboard together to drunkenly exorcise all the sexual tension that’s been building up in the office. But when you’re struggling to put faces to names, such opportunities are a low priority. You’re more worried about shagging the secret admiree of the person who books you.

Not that that stops you fantasizing. And when Continue reading

Fallen

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on December 8, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

As a dyed in thw wool music fan, it’s always sad to hear of the death of a musical hero.

Last night as I was getting home, the news broke that Pete Shelly of Buzzcocks had died of a heart attack.

It seems apt to mention this here for two reasons.

Firstly there’s probably

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Relegation of icons

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Random stuff about sex, The Red Torsolette with tags , , , , on September 8, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

There are points when one senses nails in the lids of coffins.

For far longer than my Wife and I have slept separately, I have, from time to time, tormented myself by looking in Her underwear drawer. For no reason less noble than to fuel my own self destructive optimism, in the hope that maybe today She’s wearing the Infamous Red. That maybe something has changed. That a positive decision has been made.

Today was such a day.
Today was different.
Today was not the same.
Today there was a Continue reading

Liberation of letch

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on August 25, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Big tits. Small tits. Saggy tits. Pert tits. Bouncy tits. Pneumatic tits. Implanted tits. Young tits. Old tits.

If you want a visual smörgåsbord of tits, come to the beaches of le Côte d’Azur. Admittedly that wasn’t a slogan I remember seeing when we booked the holiday, but it might as well have been. [Ed: A smörgåsbord is perhaps. a little too Scandinavian a metaphor, considering the location, but hopefully you get the point, Tolerant Reader.] 

And there was just as joyous an Continue reading

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