Archive for the Sex on my own Category

Irritation

Posted in Meet the Masturbator, Sex on my own with tags , , on April 15, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

In a marriage counselling session, maybe three years ago, my Wife opined that I wanted sex every day.
In the very early days of our relationship, when She asked how often I masturbated, I lied and said a couple of times a week – the reality was a couple of times a day.
Even now, as I subside into a slower middle age, it is an unusual day when Continue reading

I have sex with pornstars

Posted in Porn, Sex on my own with tags , , , on February 15, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

Fucking is about connection, and not just the physical connection of cunt and cock. There are few people [Ed: … hopefully very few!!! …] who fuck someone they don’t actively like. Sure, relationships fail, and the respective partners don’t loose their libidos for a lack of love, but the received wisdom is that sex is often the first casualty when things turn sour.

Over the last year or so, Chatturbate has become one of Continue reading

Sinful Sunday 484 – Drained

Posted in Sex on my own, Sinful Sunday, Sinful Sunday Pick-of-the-week with tags , , , on July 18, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Having restricted use of an arm, albeit only temporarily through injury, has been a salutary experience. Especially as it has been that of my dominant hand. The number of things that have been harder to do has been innumerable. Chopping vegetables and making toast have been difficult at best, and not being allowed to carry anything of weight or drive has meant I can’t do the supermarket run. On a more personal note, (assuming your’e right handed) brushing one’s teeth left handed is surprisingly difficult and, as you will appreciate, Dear Penis-ed Reader, if like me you wear briefs, trunks or thongs rather than boxers, even getting your cock out for a piss with just your left hand is a real challenge. As a result, I haven’t worn underwear for a month.

But worst of all, Continue reading

(adendum) Really inconvenient!

Posted in Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , on June 29, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

[Ed: Unless you want to read the self pityings of a middle aged, over-libidinous man who really ought to be a bit more grateful for just being alive with the prospect of a fully functioning, injury free body just a few patient weeks away, please just pass on by. There are far less self indulgent posts to read out there in the blogosphere today.]

Further to Inconvenient, much to my disappointment and growing frustration, it turns out that fucking a Fleshlight when Continue reading

Inconvenient

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , on June 27, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

About 2 weeks ago I had an accident. Please don’t feel sorry for me, Dear Reader, it was my own fault, and despite a trip in an ambulance and subsequent surgery, in the grand scheme of things it was nothing too major, and there should be no long lasting effects. [Ed: Other than a need to be frisked every time AM goes through airport security … not that He’s likely to complain at that!] In the short term, however, I’m half-stoned on pain-killers [Ed: and not the good half], I’ve had my right arm in a sling ever since, and will continue to do so for anywhere between 1 and 5 weeks, which is not without significant inconvenience. Yes, there are ways around these things for the long term incapacitated, but when you entirely loose the use of your dominant arm for even a short time, you start to understand the challenges that presents.

Most immediately, there is Continue reading

Return of the dissolute

Posted in Ball stretching, Porn, Sex on my own with tags , , , , on September 11, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Until I started following Hyacinth’s blog, I don’t think I was really familiar with her titular, introspective adjective – dissolute. Hy is, I think it’s fair to say, proudly dissolute, in a league to which I can only aspire. I’m not as regular a reader as I used to be of her story, but it’s hard to think of a time when she hasn’t been fucking at least one guy [Ed: We can only wonder whether AM has jerked off to fantasies of being recorded as a notch on whatever remains of Hy’s bed post.]

But whilst I Hy has probably had more fucks every week of the last 2 years than I’ve had in total in the last two years, dissolute is still a label to which I can easily ascribe. For example …

We got back from the family holiday. As soon as we’re in the door, Continue reading

A harmless assumption

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Porn, Sex on my own on August 5, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

All men masturbate and most men watch porn.

They were bold assertions, and I’m sure Dr Ruth could quote data to back them up (possibly Kinsey or Janus or NATSAL). And whilst I’m a great believer that broad, loosely statistical statements are pretty meaningless without context, these two are not without benefit to me.

My Wife and I have Continue reading

Reprogramming

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own, Sex with my wife with tags , , on July 29, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Dr Ruth suggested it takes daily repetition for just 28 days to create new neural pathways in the brain. She was referring to behaviour changes but, as evidence, cited brushing your teeth – do it left handed twice a day for 28 days and you will be brushing ambidextrously.

Obviously, being a thorough dissolute, and despite my diligence when it comes to dental care, the twice-daily left-handed activity that came to mind first was …

… of course it was, Dear Reader!

We’re all familiar with the concept of The Left Handed Wank: assuming we’re right handed, the majority of us masturbate right handed. Swapping hands feels different – almost like someone else is playing with out bits – and who doesn’t enjoy that, right?!
Furthermore, I was reminded yesterday about another factor when I stumbled across this advice column.

… No more gripping your dick […]. From now on, whenever you masturbate, you’re going to jerk it with a light touch and few drops of lube. […] You gotta stop serving [your dick with] the kind of stimulation your dick has come to expect — the death grip — because the only way your dick will ever come to appreciate the subtler and damper sensations that vaginas provide is if you give your dick no choice. Give your dick what it’s used to, and your dick will be forever dependent on it. 

Sage advice!
Probably 5 or 6 years ago, when my Wife and I at least fucked occasionally, condoms were guaranteed contraception, as I really struggled to orgasm in Her quim whilst wearing one. [Ed: Subsequently, AM found better, thinner, more sensitive jonnies in the form of Okomoto 004, even if they were of insufficient diameter to be ideally suited to His girth.] Aware that perpetual masturbation also had a part to play, I told Her that I wanted my dick to be more used to Her pussy than my hand. Looking back, an equally valid solution might have been getting used to The Left Hand Wank …

… but I would certainly rather have been grinding deep into Her lovely, tight cunt than even in my less-than-familiar left fist.

This weeks Sunday Sin also plaid into my current thinking:
To feature my wedding ring needed a left hand wank. And if my Wife and I do ever fuck again, ejaculating literally hundreds of times in my hand since I last came in Her cunt, my dick is going to need reprogramming.

So, for the next 28 days, cum or no cum, twice a day I will be attempting to create new neural pathways.

Lost for words

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own, Sex with my wife, Sexual politics, The Red Torsolette with tags , , , , , on July 4, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Help me out, Dear Reader.
With over 800 posts published, I’m used to finding the right words, or at least words that roughly convey the thoughts trying to escape from my head.
But I’m stuck.
I can’t think of the right words.
So maybe you can?

I’m obsessing about Continue reading

Matches

Posted in Porn, Sex on my own, Sex with other people on May 6, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

For no good reason, I’m back browsing OKC. It’s not serious – I’m not actively looking for someone to date … or fuck … it’s just window shopping. And spending an hour or two reading through people’s sexual preferences at 5am on a Sunday morning is an interesting alternative to looking at porn when I’m having a wank. (Ok. I admit it. As I get close to Continue reading

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