Archive for the Sex on my own Category

I have to hand it to Her

Posted in Sex on my own, Sex with my wife, Sex with other people with tags on October 23, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

A couple of weeks ago, my WP Reader has been conspicuously awash with posts about handjobs. It was only when I got to the end of the fourth (with a visceral yearning to get tossed off) that I noticed that handjobs have been Kink Of The Week. I’m not sure I get how jerking your partner off qualifies as a kink – Wikepedia describes kinkiness as …

… any unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a “bend” (cf. a “kink”) in one’s sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with “straight” or “vanilla” sexual mores and proclivities.

… whilst to me, masturbating your partner is a perfectly normal, entry level sexual activity. Unless you’re doing it in public, or when restrained, or whilst getting urinated on, or whilst dressed in rubber, it’s not kinky, and even then the kink is the risk of getting caught, or the bondage, or pissing, or rubber, and not the handjob. But one person’s vanilla is the next person’s perversion, so who is to say what’s kinky and what isn’t?

Strangely, although I can

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Pointless extravegance

Posted in Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , , on September 22, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

After I’d ordered an unjustifiable, extravagantly expensive and, lest we forget, unnecessarily transparent pair of pantsuk, I sat down and had some lunch. As my mind wandered down the dark and sticky back alleys of my consciousness, I found myself wondering how much one of my most fantasised about sex toys was retailing for these days.

I Googled it whilst I ate my salad.

Disappointingly, it appeared that the major retailers only had it in black. Much as my taste in latex fetishwear, I’m really not a fan of black for sex toys – there’s something almost sinister about it, something that suggests a power dynamic that doesn’t sit easily with me – sex should be fun, and colourful. More importantly, the fact that no one seemed to have any in any other colours made me think that the toy in question may no longer be in production … which would be disappointing. This seemed even more likely when several online sex shops seemed to be offering them at a reduced price.

Unfortunately, as I’m sure you can imagine, Loyal Reader, it’s unlikely I’ll ever have the pleasure of being on the receiving end of a

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Two sides

Posted in Sex on my own with tags , , on June 29, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

There are two sides to every story. It’s easy to perceive things from your own perspective; harder to understand someone else’s.

eo manusturpo
tu manusturpas
ille manusturpat
nos manusturpamos
vos manusturpates
illi manusturpant

A thought experiment …

There are two sides to every coin. Heads or tails. Your call, Dear Reader. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. As that coin spins in the air, what Continue reading

A tissue of lies

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own with tags , , , on February 21, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Not surprisingly, after the minimalist start to January, it didn’t take long into Feb for the box of tissues on my bedside table to run dry. The empty box told a barely spoken truth.
Then it seemed the only time I had to myself was in the shower for a couple of weeks, so it wasn’t an issue, and there was always the box my Wife keeps on Her side of the bed on the couple of occasions that I needed to Continue reading

Domestic bliss

Posted in Random stuff about sex, Sex on my own with tags , , , , , on July 10, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

When I told you, Dear Reader, about how I came to discover my love of rubber-wear, I dug out an old copy of the fetish magazine, Shiney International, I bought some time back in the late 80s / early 90s. As I thumbed through the pages, skim reading erotic stories and stiffening over explicit photo sets, I chanced upon these Continue reading

DLS 16 : Maybe I’m getting old. 

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear, Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , , on May 18, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Unusually I was away from home sans wife and offspring last night. Family business took me several hundred miles away from home overnight. I was staying with relatives but also taking the opportunity to visit an old school friend. Which presented another opportunity: the other day I spent an hour or so perusing locally available services on AdultWork.com but time was short, budget was limited, and if I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure how motivated I really am. Maybe next time.

However, being away from home life somehow always brings out the pervert in me.

So yesterday, as I drove Continue reading

I really am …

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own with tags , , on February 25, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

… to use Evie The Rabbit‘s word … insatiable.

It was only yesterday we agreed [Did we agree, or was it my unilateral suggestion?] to make time for sex on Tuesday nights and Sunday mornings.
It is only 16 or so hours until we will test our collective resolve for the first time.
It was only last week that I resolved to stop flaunting my horniness quite so much.
And yet …

Two hours before the alarm clock and I’m awake with a hand clasping my hard-on.
My Wife’s breathing and movement suggests She’s awake too.
I reach across to Her and Continue reading

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