Archive for the Sex toys Category

Twisted fate

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex toys with tags , , on October 19, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

At some time in a past life I must have met up with Fate and really pissed her off. Or perhaps it was just karma (sutra). Of course it could just have been that shit just happens. Or maybe it was indeed Fate but, because She knows the future, she was trying to give me a benevolent nudge. I don’t know which but when I placed what I shall here forth refer to as Jo’s order, it never occurred to me that I would have to deal with a repeat of the my recent postal debacle.

It was about 5:30am when

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I’m blaming Jo

Posted in Sex toys with tags , , , , on October 16, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

It’s your fault, Jo. If you hadn’t been quite so enthusiastic about me trying to recreate your fantastic Sinful Sunday pose. You know the one. The shot from a low level, gazing up your gorgeous legs to your peach of an arse, all naked except for a pair of black fishnet stockings. This picture …

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Sinful Sunday 339 – Mysterious package

Posted in Not a dick pic, Sex toys, Sinful Sunday with tags , , , , on October 8, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Having placed the wholly unjustifiable order for an unfeasibly kinky, arse-and-pussy-fucking, pinky-purple, double dildo, and despite asking for the dispatch to be delayed so the discrete package didn’t arrive at the weekend (in the circumstances I really didn’t want to have to deal with well, aren’t you going to open it? ), things were bound not to go smoothly.

Sinful Sunday

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Pointless extravegance

Posted in Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , , on September 22, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

After I’d ordered an unjustifiable, extravagantly expensive and, lest we forget, unnecessarily transparent pair of pantsuk, I sat down and had some lunch. As my mind wandered down the dark and sticky back alleys of my consciousness, I found myself wondering how much one of my most fantasised about sex toys was retailing for these days.

I Googled it whilst I ate my salad.

Disappointingly, it appeared that the major retailers only had it in black. Much as my taste in latex fetishwear, I’m really not a fan of black for sex toys – there’s something almost sinister about it, something that suggests a power dynamic that doesn’t sit easily with me – sex should be fun, and colourful. More importantly, the fact that no one seemed to have any in any other colours made me think that the toy in question may no longer be in production … which would be disappointing. This seemed even more likely when several online sex shops seemed to be offering them at a reduced price.

Unfortunately, as I’m sure you can imagine, Loyal Reader, it’s unlikely I’ll ever have the pleasure of being on the receiving end of a

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Innovation

Posted in Fetishwear, Sex toys with tags , , , on August 30, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Sex drives innovation.
A bold statement, perhaps, and possibly an urban myth, but it’s not uncommon to hear that without porn, the internet wouldn’t be half as technically advanced as it is. Certainly there is no shortage of people trying to reinvent sex toys and over the last few years, increasingly easy access to 3d scanners and printers has seen the rise of companies like MakerLove, and SexShop 3D offering related services.

But creativity can often just involve the simplest of ideas … such as ice locks.

Now the die hard perverts amongst you will be familiar with the prevalence of

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As if to prove my point …

Posted in Random stuff about sex, Sex toys with tags , , , , on July 30, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

… and just a couple of days after I declined the offer to publicise to my entire social media contacts list the fact that I need to buy XXL condoms, this appears in one of my feeds … Continue reading

iCon’t believe it’s cum to this

Posted in Sex toys with tags , , , , on July 27, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

At Her suggestion, I was e-shopping for condoms, and splashed across the retailers webpage, like a well aimed ejaculation, was a banner I couldn’t ignore …

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