Archive for the Sex toys Category

(adendum) Really inconvenient!

Posted in Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , on June 29, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

[Ed: Unless you want to read the self pityings of a middle aged, over-libidinous man who really ought to be a bit more grateful for just being alive with the prospect of a fully functioning, injury free body just a few patient weeks away, please just pass on by. There are far less self indulgent posts to read out there in the blogosphere today.]

Further to Inconvenient, much to my disappointment and growing frustration, it turns out that fucking a Fleshlight when Continue reading

Inconvenient

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , on June 27, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

About 2 weeks ago I had an accident. Please don’t feel sorry for me, Dear Reader, it was my own fault, and despite a trip in an ambulance and subsequent surgery, in the grand scheme of things it was nothing too major, and there should be no long lasting effects. [Ed: Other than a need to be frisked every time AM goes through airport security … not that He’s likely to complain at that!] In the short term, however, I’m half-stoned on pain-killers [Ed: and not the good half], I’ve had my right arm in a sling ever since, and will continue to do so for anywhere between 1 and 5 weeks, which is not without significant inconvenience. Yes, there are ways around these things for the long term incapacitated, but when you entirely loose the use of your dominant arm for even a short time, you start to understand the challenges that presents.

Most immediately, there is Continue reading

Odd

Posted in Ball stretching, Fetishwear, Fixing a broken marriage, Male pubic waxing, Porn, Sex toys, Sex with my wife with tags , , , , , , on July 27, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Having a hug with my Wife was odd.
Initiating a kiss as She left for work was odd.
Putting my wedding ring on for the first time in the best part of a decade was … yes, you guessed it, Dear Reader … odd.
But these things paled into insignificance.

Waking up horny wasn’t odd at all. Not least as Continue reading

Rebrand

Posted in Fetishwear, Porn, Sex toys, Underwear with tags , , on May 27, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Two ideas, unrelated, but with a common theme. A change of name.

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I’m sure I’m not alone in regarding sex blogging as being simultaneously an isolated activity and gratifyingly connected. It’s a lot like wanking: lot’s of us do it, and usually on their own, but who doesn’t enjoy having someone else watch us do it? [Ed: That’s not just AM, is it?] And if we’re lucky, occasionally we get to meet fellow wankers [Ed: Please excuse AM – we get to meet fellow …] sex bloggers and talk about wanking [Ed: Sorry – we get to talk about …] blogging.

Just as Kelis’ milkshake brought all the boys to the yard, Continue reading

Bad ideas – 3 : Pandora’s case

Posted in Bad ideas, Fixing a broken marriage, Porn, Sex toys, Underwear with tags , , , on October 5, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

In case you thought my plotting attempts to passively engage my Wife in conversation about celibacy (or indeed any remedial options) were limited to duplicitous provocations with underwear and laundry, remember there is no shortage of perversions I could allow my Wife stumble upon.

There’s the selection of Continue reading

You’re kidding, right?

Posted in Sex toys with tags , , , , on October 3, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Confession: Since I bought my Fun Factory Share XL strapless strap-on almost exactly a year ago, the only orifices it has penetrated have been that of my Fleshlight and my mouth.
Well you would, wouldn’t you?!
Wouldn’t you?
Oh. Ok.
Well I did.

[Ed: Am has long been curious about Continue reading

Lost in translation

Posted in Sex toys with tags , , , on March 13, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Names mean nothing – they’re just arbitrary labels, and yet sometimes they have quite profound meaning. How many times have we heard tales of product branding that doesn’t quite say what was meant? Who can forget the classic slogan Continue reading

I’m not your friend

Posted in Porn, Random stuff about sex, Sex toys with tags , , , on March 7, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

When I decided to dispose of some sex toys and adult mags on eBay, I kind of expected a couple of questions from potential buyers. What I didn’t expect was

Continue reading

‘Tis an ill wind …

Posted in Sex on my own, Sex toys, Underwear with tags , , , on March 1, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Whilst it was not by design, it was inevitable that as soon as I moved into the spare bedroom, nearly 3 months ago, I would make the most of being able to could jerk off as often as I wanted. When I was sleeping in Our celibate bed, if I wanted a wank when I went to bed, I either had to Continue reading

Time for a clear out

Posted in Fetishwear, Porn, Sex therapy, Sex toys, Underwear with tags on February 20, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

It’s time for a clear out.

Between the masturbators, anal toys, adult VHS and DVDs, ball stretchers, handcuffs, porn mags, chastity cage, ruberwear, books of vintage porn, pervy ornaments and the now packed-away thong collection … amongst other things … I felt it was time for a clear out.

Partly because Continue reading

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