Archive for the Sex Category

Two words. One thought. All consuming.

Posted in Sex with tags on March 1, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

For days now … weeks even … one thought has returned to my head.
Again and again and again.
Louder each time.

It passes but Continue reading

Don’t show me yours, I won’t show you mine

Posted in Parenting, Sex, Sexual politics on September 3, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Today the BBC has reported that a 14yr old boy has been officially recorded as having committed a sex crime.

He’s not raped or sexually assaulted anyone, but has sent a naked selfie of himself to a girl in his school. She then forwarded it on to others, and her details have also been registered. The consequences for both, I suspect, have turned out far greater than they could ever have imagined.

Sexting, especially amongst Continue reading


Posted in Sex on August 22, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Having just caught sight of my 6:30am reflection, I’m not sure whether my hair makes me look more like Tintin or Cameron Diaz


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on April 10, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Several of your number, Dear Reader, noticed recently that my blog disappeared from public view. As I explained to them directly (whenever possible), something crossed my radar in the blogosphere that Continue reading

Guest Blog – Always read the small print

Posted in Sex on February 19, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

For some unknown reason, I’ve contemplating inviting a guest to write something for my blog. And then out of the escapistgirl telling me how … oh, why don’t I let her tell you.


Your iced-cocktails post was a light bulb idea. [AM: Dear Reader, if you haven’t read the post to which escapistgirl is referring, now would be a good moment to do so, else what follows may make little sense.]

I am probably the only person crazy enough to actually try it. I feel ridiculous and giddy at the same time. I decided to try it because Continue reading

Escape and evasion

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with tags , , on February 15, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

There was no sex on Valentine’s Day morning. My Wife was heading out early for Her belated birthday treat and I had weekend parent-taxi driver duties.
Fortune was smiling on us.

10hrs later, Her day had gone well. She’d enjoyed Herself. Mission accomplished. A good birthday present.

We settled down to a movie.
The opening scene was sexy. Not explicit, but sexy, and I certainly mustered a semi. And there was plenty of sex throughout the Continue reading

Merry Xmas

Posted in Sex on December 25, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

May Santa cum down your chimney … or up it.
May your stockings be seamed, lace trimmed, and attached to a see through basque.
May your bird be thoroughly stuffed.
May you tree drip with delights.
And may you have lots of fun unwrapping exquisitely wrapped packages.

Have a spankingly good Xmas, Dear Reader

Shows what I know

Posted in Sex on November 17, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

Never let it be said that I can’t admit I’m wrong!

It turns out

Continue reading

Cumming or Drumming

Posted in Sex on November 11, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

You’re a died in the wool porn fan, Dear Reader, right? Yeah, thought so.
And I like to think you’re a bit of a music fan too? Good.
Well, here’s a little test for you. Can you tell the diffenece between Continue reading

Reminder: Never Have I Ever This Friday!

Posted in Sex on September 24, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator
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