Archive for the Sex Category

Cumming or Drumming

Posted in Sex on November 11, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

You’re a died in the wool porn fan, Dear Reader, right? Yeah, thought so.
And I like to think you’re a bit of a music fan too? Good.
Well, here’s a little test for you. Can you tell the diffenece between Continue reading

Reminder: Never Have I Ever This Friday!

Posted in Sex on September 24, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

Promotion orgasms

Posted in Porn, Sex on August 7, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

In case anyone wonders what I get from occasionally dropping links into my blog for Erika Lust, rest assured I don’t get anything for doing so. Or at least not if you discount the swelling warmth in my crotch I get from thinking that you, Dear Reader, might end up getting a similarly warm swelling, or better still, an electrifying wetness as a result off bringing her skin flicks to your attention.

Anhway Continue reading

In Case You Didn’t Know: ‘M’ Is for May and Masturbation Month

Posted in Sex on May 14, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

I know it’s half way through May already, but being the dedicated tosser you know me to be, Dear Reader, I really shouldn’t miss the opportunity to wave the flag for masturbation.

It’s not just me

Posted in Sex, The Red Torsolette on May 3, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

As I hung out the laundry I was struck by an interesting observation.

Various items of my underwear collection (about which you might justifiably feel bored of hearing by now, Dear Reader) need to be washed as delicates. So a while back I invested in one of those mesh laundry bags intended for washing lacy lingerie. My Wife has one too, which She has always used for the now legendary red bra and panties.

Prior to our now 5 month celibacy, I have to admit said bra and panties did leave my Wife’s underwear drawer not infrequently, albeit exclusively at the weekend, and without ever being remotely flaunted.
(Just in case there’s any doubt, I feel obliged to point out that, although I have, at her request, been known to spend up to a whole week wearing Geri‘s panties, which was a real giggle, and led to her buying me a very feminine pair of my own, my Wife’s legendary red panties have never left my her underwear drawer to be worn by myself.)
As a result, as recently as December they would appear in a mesh laundry bag from time to time.
(That’s my Wife’s legendary red bra and panties, not the feminine pair.)
(And I haven’t kept a pair of Geri’s.)
(Although they would doubtless have made a nice souvenir.)

But not any more.
Which is probably quite telling.

Although I can’t remember quite when, I’m sure I’ve made no secret to you, Dear Reader, that I have given up hope of me fucking my Wife ever again, and it seems apparent, so has She.

Touch yourself

Posted in Sex on April 17, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

“I Touch Myself” was the Divinyls’ biggest hit and touched millions of fans around the globe. Released in December 1990, the single was No. 1 on the charts at home and reached the Top 5 in the US.

It is a song that celebrates female sexuality like no other. Like Chrissy, it is bold, brave, and brassy. It rocked our world. And when Chrissy developed breast cancer, it was a song she wanted to become an anthem for spreading awareness about the importance of touching ourselves for early detection of the disease.

As a tribute, Chrissy’s family and friends, her husband Charley Drayton, fellow songwriters, Cancer Council NSW and supporters from around the globe have come together to make sure Chrissy’s legacy lives on to remind women to be in touch with their bodies, and if something’s not right, see their doctor.

You can keep Chrissy’s dream alive by spreading her message. Share the anthem using #itouchmyselfproject on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook & Google+ and show how you’ve been touched by leaving a message of support, singing your version of ‘I Touch Myself’ or by posting an I Touch Myselfie.


Ignorance is bliss

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with tags , , , on December 30, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

Talking about sex doesn’t help.

Continue reading

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