… said the pot to the kettle

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , on December 23, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

It started with what I thought was an innocuous suggestion that I would continue the search for a particular Xmas present my Wife had been looking for, while She did the parenting shift. It seemed a logical distribution if labour to me.
Apparently I was trying to snatch the task away from Her. Her tone of voice was abrasive and irritable.

It descended into a fight.
And I descended into a bottle of whisky.

This is not a productive way to deal with situations, arguments, because my judgement and particularly memory fail as much as my voice is liberated.

I threw some more home truths at Her (or at least what I see as home truths) including that I thought She should
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Sinfull Sunday 402 – Jingle balls

Posted in Ball stretching, Sinful Sunday with tags , on December 22, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Originally this post was going to be titled Well Hung. Not because I am – I’m not – it just seemed entirely apt. But as I walked to the shops, I could hear a gentle jangling from inside my trousers.

The first time I wore a steel collar ball stretcher was nearly a disaster. Walking home from the shops, I felt Continue reading

Part-eh?

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , on December 21, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

When you work as a freelancer, an invitation to a client’s Xmas party is more than welcome. A chance to actually meet some of the names you see on emails and the disembodied voices on phones. If it’s in a swanky bar and the drinks are on the house … even better!

For staffers, the stereotype sees colleagues sneaking off to the stationary cupboard together to drunkenly exorcise all the sexual tension that’s been building up in the office. But when you’re struggling to put faces to names, such opportunities are a low priority. You’re more worried about shagging the secret admiree of the person who books you.

Not that that stops you fantasizing. And when Continue reading

Back(less) in black

Posted in Underwear with tags , , on December 19, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator
  • Life is full of disappointments.
  • Every cloud has a silver lining.

There are invariably different ways to describe life’s little downs.

When my outrageous pink string sided mesh trunks arrived in the post, I was thrilled … and instantly Continue reading

Sinful Sunday 401 – Keep on giving

Posted in Not a dick pic, Sinful Sunday, Underwear with tags , , on December 15, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

As we slide inexhorably towards the end of the year, those of us of a Xmas persuasion are doubtless thinking if gifts. And as a concept, we’re all familiar with the phrase the gift that keeps on giving., even if we’ve not actually received one.

Sinful Sunday

And you’re doubtless familiar, Dear Reader, with my near obsessive purchasing of pantsuk, especially

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Some things you can’t ignore

Posted in Underwear with tags , , , on December 9, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Tis the season to be waylaid by relentless marketing. Black Friday. Cyber Monday. Xmas discounts. Boxing Day bonanzas. And we won’t have to wait long for the January sales. It’s all a little trying and brings out my inner Marxist.

The email account I reserve for pervy things is currently awash with ads for discounted dildos, hand cuffs, rubber costumes, and of course Continue reading

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