Bad ideas – 3 : Pandora’s case

Posted in Bad ideas, Fixing a broken marriage, Porn, Sex toys, Underwear with tags , , , on October 5, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

In case you thought my plotting attempts to passively engage my Wife in conversation about celibacy (or indeed any remedial options) were limited to duplicitous provocations with underwear and laundry, remember there is no shortage of perversions I could allow my Wife stumble upon.

There’s the selection of Continue reading

You’re kidding, right?

Posted in Sex toys with tags , , , , on October 3, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Confession: Since I bought my Fun Factory Share XL strapless strap-on almost exactly a year ago, the only orifices it has penetrated have been that of my Fleshlight and my mouth.
Well you would, wouldn’t you?!
Wouldn’t you?
Oh. Ok.
Well I did.

[Ed: Am has long been curious about Continue reading

Bad ideas – 2 : Underhanded underwear

Posted in Bad ideas, Fixing a broken marriage, Underwear with tags , , , on October 1, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Here’s another one of my not-so-genius ideas … also known as If you can’t get honey from the bee, kick the beehive.

You know of my borderline addiction to buying underwear, Loyal Reader, (I’ve just ordered 3 more pairs for no other reason than I like the colours and they seem to be selling out!) my collection of thongs and g-strings, and presumably you’ve seen my most see-through smalls ever. Well, based on Her surprising silence, that puts you one up on my Wife.

The latter pantsuk were intended as Continue reading

Sinful Sunday 390 – Not seeing red

Posted in Fetishwear, Sinful Sunday with tags , , , on September 29, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

When my attention was first piqued by the erotic potential of rubber clothing, back in the late 80s / early 90s, the only fetishwear you could get hold of easily was black [Ed: Easily!? That’s a fucking joke! Sex shops were immeasurably different places three decades ago and buying latex underwear was strictly the province of only the most diligent perverts!] … or sometimes red, or perhaps that slightly sickly, translucent, yellowish hue of natural latex.

Sinful Sunday

Kinky couture has come a long way since then. Most sex shops will stock some basic rubber these days, there’s no shortage of models, chanteuses and actresses who will happily turn up to an award ceremony in a LB(r)D, and you’d be pushed to think of a colour you can’t find rubber in.

Whilst my first latex was indeed a

Continue reading

Bad ideas – 1 : Her ultimatum

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , on September 28, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m full of great ideas.
Bullshit!
I’m full of ideas.
Better.
I’m full of shit ideas.
That’s more like it.

As much as I want to let go of caring, as much as I want to just be ok that the sexlife-medics are packing up the defibrillator and calling it, neither a morning nor a night passes without me musing on the deceased, and wondering if there might be some hope of necromancy.

My latest idea

A couple of moths ago, I had a Continue reading

The end of me

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , , , on September 26, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

I wonder if I’m dying.
Not literally. I’m not that self obsessed and dour.
But a part of me.
A big part of me.
The sex part of me.

Nearly 7 years ago, when I started this sex blog, I was Continue reading

Sinful Sunday 389 – Walk the walk

Posted in Fetishwear, Not a dick pic, Sinful Sunday with tags , , on September 22, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

A couple of weeks ago, when I had the privilege of selecting my pick of the week on Sinful Sunday, I bemoaned the predominance of BDSM in terms if kink, and the under-representation of Continue reading

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