Archive for Blue balls

Sinful Sunday 484 – Drained

Posted in Sex on my own, Sinful Sunday, Sinful Sunday Pick-of-the-week with tags , , , on July 18, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Having restricted use of an arm, albeit only temporarily through injury, has been a salutary experience. Especially as it has been that of my dominant hand. The number of things that have been harder to do has been innumerable. Chopping vegetables and making toast have been difficult at best, and not being allowed to carry anything of weight or drive has meant I can’t do the supermarket run. On a more personal note, (assuming your’e right handed) brushing one’s teeth left handed is surprisingly difficult and, as you will appreciate, Dear Penis-ed Reader, if like me you wear briefs, trunks or thongs rather than boxers, even getting your cock out for a piss with just your left hand is a real challenge. As a result, I haven’t worn underwear for a month.

But worst of all, Continue reading


Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , on December 29, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

I feel horny.
Ok, there’s a degree to which that goes without saying, but what does that actually mean?
I looked the word up in the dictionary …

horny (adj) /ˈhɔː.ni/ – informal, sexually excited

Nothing ground breaking there, so maybe the question should be what does horny feel like?

I started writing this post, in Continue reading

My balls in Her hands

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on November 19, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

When we talked yesterday, there were two thing said that were particularly noteworthy. (Well, there were quite a few actually, but most of them have been said before.)

1. Mornings
When I wake up earlier than my Wife, which is pretty regularly, I often get up and leave Her to sleep. (What She doesn’t know is that often, I’ll go down to the kitchen, make myself a cup of tea, and browse some porn on my smartphone while I toss myself off. And She probably won’t ever know that either.)

Yesterday She suggested that Continue reading

Speculate to accumulate

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , on November 12, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

More work.
More sexual frustration.
More aching balls.

Having a wank would mean …
More work gets done.
Less sexual frustration.
Less aching balls.

Not having a wank would mean …
Less work gets done.
More sexual frustration.
More aching balls.
It would also mean I have a better chance of empty my balls into my Wife’s cunt than my own hand. Which is what I’d prefer. As would She. But …

Speculate to accumulate.
No pain, no gain.
What to do?


I can’t tell if She’s listening?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Parenting, Sex, Sex with my wife with tags , , , , on October 6, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

Last night it was my turn to be asleep on the sofa at 9:30. At 10pm I was asleep in bed an I have no idea what time my Wife came to bed.

Come Sunday morning, no surprises, I’m awake way too early, She’s asleep, and my erection is twitching like Frankenstein’s monster still wired to the lightning conductor.

Oh yeah … and my balls still ache.

Continue reading

The aftermath

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on October 5, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

When my Wife got home from work nothing was said about the text conversation. No surprise there.
My balls still ached, badly enough that the vast majority of my horniness was displaced hours ago.
I went off into the Big Smoke and networked successfully (I think).
About 10pm I got a text from my Wife saying “It’s no good. Cant stay awake. Going to bed.” As I was at best 90min from home, and there were folk I still needed to talk to, there was no way She was going to be up for a fuck by the time I got home.
When I eventually did, She stirred, Continue reading

How do I mess things up so easily?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , on October 4, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

I don’t really have time to blog today, but if you’ve read my last couple of posts and/or Twaterings with any degree of interest, you’re probably going to want to know about this afternoons text conversation between me and my Wife.

First a little background:

Even on my own personal scale of horniness, today I’m running up at about 85%.
I can’t keep my mind off sex.
And yes, you guessed it, my balls ache. Continue reading

A cure for the blues

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , , on August 10, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

For reasons I won’t go into just now, I spent a large part of yesterday sexually aroused. Although I only got a semi a couple of times in the morning, my cock was up and down more times than a hookers knickers in the afternoon. (Just so no one gets excited on my behalf, rest assured this has absolutely nothing to do with sex with my Wife.)

Continue reading

The unexpected

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own, Sex with my wife with tags , , , , on August 25, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

In the wake of the current challenge, yesterday I resolved to try to fuck my Wife either last night or this morning.

Continue reading

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