Archive for Communication

Step into the unknown

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on April 12, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

A week after having vowed to snuggle up on the sofa every evening, and go for a (short) walk once a day, We went for a (long) let’s-check-how-We’re-getting-on week-end walk. If I say the last couple of long walks have each been over 8 miles, that should give you some idea, Dear Reader, of how much ground We have covered conversationally too.

About 3 days into the week Continue reading

Not the ending I expected

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on April 4, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

It doesn’t really matter where arguments started. It matters where they ended.

In between, there were two or three others, and an increasing agreement that the next step was both inevitable and terminal. It’s not a step that I really want to take, because of the consequences for me. It’s apparently not a step that my Wife wants to have to take, not least because of the consequences it will have for me. For all She might want rid of me, She is not unsympathetic. But increasingly, over the space of a few days, Continue reading

Openess

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , , , , on August 17, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

The last few weeks have been tough at Chez AM. I’m not going into details, but both my Wife and I seem to have felt increasingly that We’re on the brink of divorce. Even our weekly counselling sessions have been turbulent.

Amidst that, somehow We agreed We would sit down this last weekend and talk. One thing that has become increasingly apparent recently is our ability to have the same conversation and yet walk away from it as if We had had two entirely different conversations. So even that conversation nearly didn’t happen. Nearly.

Kirsty, our counsellor, has recently asked Us to think about what would be Enough to save the marriage. What would We respectively need as a minimum for it to be worth saving?
There was some discussion of Enough, and other things – fractious discussion – and then, at my insistence, We talked a bit about sex.
Yes. Dear Reader, We actually talked about sex.
Again, I’m not going into detail for the most part, but …

Continue reading

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , on March 30, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

After talking to Kirsty, our counsellor, alone, I went for another walk.
The world felt heavy as I left the house. I had questions I need to answer.
By the time I returned a couple of hours later, the world felt Continue reading

Here We go again

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Six years. Would you believe it, Dear Reader? Last week represented six years since I started this blog. Having looked back at how it has told the story of much of Our Dysfunction, I’m surprised.
On the one hand, it was when I resolved to try to resucitate our flagging sex life, though I don’t really remember what had led up to that in any detail.
It was also when my Wife willingly accepted The Infamous Red Lingerie for Xmas.
And possibly most significantly, it was only a couple of months before we first visited a marriage counsellor.
I honestly can’t get my head around how these things fitted together in such a short period of time.

And here we are again. At our first session with a counsellor. Albeit one that comes from a sex therapy angle.

Sex is Continue reading

Finally She mentions the underwear drawer

Posted in Fetishwear, Fixing a broken marriage, Underwear with tags , , on August 13, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

She was ironing.
I was watching TV.
And out of the blue She said … Continue reading

What’s all this about?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on August 12, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

I was drunk again. Happy drunk again. It had got me through an intense afternoon of school-holiday-child-care.  [Ed: Don’t worry, Concerned Reader. No children were at risk during the production of this blog post.] 

My Wife got home, I cooked supper and we sat down as a family to eat. Everyone was friends and all was going well, but at some point She decided to start waxing on about the down sides of alcohol and how it impairs judgement and lubricated tongues and how this is all undesirable. This was all pitched for Continue reading

Marking time

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , on April 15, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Back in … jeez I can’t remember when … was it 18 months ago, or maybe longer … there was some mention that we should schedule regular sex. We managed one fuck, maybe two at most, before that resolution failed completely. Now, so many months on, we have scheduled sex twice a week.

It’s Wednesday. We’re away on holiday. A self catering cottage. And as we prepared super, whilst our hosts’ kids entertained ours in the adjacent fields, I was tempted to ask Her if we were going to have sex later.
It felt Continue reading

For whom?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, The Red Torsolette with tags , , , on October 24, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

It was an anniversary. Not a major anniversary, just one of those that comes around every year. We booked a babysitter and in anticipation of a rare night out at my Wife’s favorite restaurant, to be followed by a nightcap at a quiet bar nearby. 

Earlier in the day I’d asked if we were going to dress up for the evening. For me, that would be an ironed shirt and polished shoes instead of the usual T-shirt and trainers. She said if you want. So I did.

Earlier still, anticipating our sortie and the significance of the date, I wondered … nay fantasized … about the possibility that She might resurrect the infamous Red Lingerie. She was just wearing a Continue reading

Easy like Sunday morning … and Tuesday night.

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with my wife with tags , , , , on February 24, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Me: Is this anything more than a one off?
Her: I don’t know. We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.
There was a pause. It was ominous.
Her: If you mean am I usually too tired and stressed? Yes. If you mean are we usually going to bed and getting up at different times? Yes.
Me: If that’s all, then it’s all surmountable.

The conversation is a bit of blur from then on.

Me: We just Continue reading

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