Archive for Condoms

… and … analysis

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with my wife with tags , , , , , , on August 18, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Y’know those posts for which you struggle to come up with a title?
Considering this was expected to be an analysis of various points in my last post  this started out titled as just Analysis. But that briefly turned into Analysis Mr Spock? … and then Analysis Mr Spunk? … and when I found the following  picture, it so nearly turned into Anal sex, Mr Spock? But that was starting to get away from the point. A whole galaxy away! So before I disapear up my own wormhole, back to yesterday …

Continue reading

Thanks for sharing

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , on July 24, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

There seems to be an increasing tendency with shopping online for retailers to ask customers to do their advertising for them. Click on this link to share your purchase on Twitter really translates, let us have access to your address book and use all your friends’ news feeds to advertise our products.

I’m a big fan of online privacy, so I won’t do it.

Especially when it comes to buying things like sex toys online. Seriously? Who does that?
I just spent £387.96 on latex underwear, handcuffs, anal lube and a speculum from
It’s not something I really want colleagues, business contacts, family and friends seeing when they look at my Facebook page. Even if it does get me a 10% discount the next time I buy a butt plug.

And yet I can’t say I’m not tempted, just a little, when asked to Continue reading

Family planning?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , on July 23, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

It’s 3 days since we fucked. Before that, about 2 weeks. And before that about a month. I have to concede that’s an upward curve, but after the last time, I’ve not been expecting anything more. Not for the forseeable future anyway. I gave up the last time we talked about sex. I had given up on sex altogether, but if She’s going to persist once in a blue moon, it’s probably nominally easier to fuck Her than fight with Her. If She wants to fuck, and I’m not not-in-the-mood, I’ll fuck. If I want to fuck, I’ll assume She doesn’t and I’ll probably have a wank. The path of least resistance.

Then, out of the blue, as Continue reading

If not now, then when?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with my wife with tags , , on April 22, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

After the last few days, it’s difficult not to assume The Schedule has been cancelled.
I’ve been grumpy for the last couple of days, and my interest in the reality of The Schedule has waned significantly. That said, the day had been OK, and we’d mostly all been civil to each other. She and I even went to bed at the same time. And Continue reading

They came in the post

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , on April 14, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

The letter box rattled and She walked into the hall.
Her: Lots of post.
She sifted the interesting envelopes from the obvious bills from the junk-mail.
Her: Have you ordeeed something?
Walking back into the livingroom, She handed over a Continue reading

… so She let me jerk off over Her tits

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with my wife with tags , , , , , on April 9, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Just before we go any further, I’d like to be clear that this post is neither historical nor relating a dream. It is probably quite a surprising title for one of my posts, considering Our well documented dysfunction, yet the title is … well … I’ll get to the title shortly, but let’s wind the clock back an hour or two first.

It was around 7am when She woke on Sunday. Maybe an hour after my cock had heralded the morning. She rolled over and put an arm across me. On other occasions I would have taken that as fore-fore-play, but with sex marked down as for that night it seemed unlikely. Perversely I regretted not escaping from bed when I had had the opportunity.
And then She stroked my chest.
That wasn’t  fore-fore-play. That was Continue reading

Happy endings or happy beginnings?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with my wife with tags , , , , , , , on January 6, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

By the end of that day I was knackered. It had been a busy, and uncommonly good familial day. The down side was I was falling asleep in front of the TV at 9:30pm. She was not, so I headed for her and sacked the idea of getting laid.

But come the morning all was resolved. The sex itself was pretty formulaic, with a couple of exceptions.

As She initially toyed with dick, in a fit of bravery I got up onto my knees, straddled Her chest, and presented Her with it to suck. With out a word She Continue reading

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