Archive for Divorce

Cards on the table

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

In some respects, I’m ready to pull the pin on the divorce grenade. It’s certainly overdue that I stand by my own red line. We at least talk about sex, or I apply for a divorce.
My Wife can say She wants everything else in place – trust, respect, emotional safety … whatever and however She wants to define a functional relationship, but if She wants to take sex off the table Continue reading

Hey look! There’s a bloody great elephant in the room.

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty, Sex therapy with tags , , , , on May 14, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Finally! 18yrs after We first got together, 16yrs after I moved in with my Wife-to-be, 14yrs after We bought a house together, 13yrs after We got married, 8½yrs since I decided to try to reinvigorate our flagging sex life, over 900 blog posts since my Wife happily accepted The Infamous Red Lingerie, 6½yrs since She rejected The Classy Blue Lingerie, getting on for 3 years since We last fucked, 2½yrs after I moved out of Her bedroom, something like 45hrs and 4 different counsellors between us, and finally Continue reading

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , on March 30, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

After talking to Kirsty, our counsellor, alone, I went for another walk.
The world felt heavy as I left the house. I had questions I need to answer.
By the time I returned a couple of hours later, the world felt Continue reading

Questions

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , , on March 28, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

What do I want?
Is there enough in the relationship to save?
Do I really want to save it?
Have We passed the point of no return?
Do I really want a divorce?
Or does even considering divorce inherently make it more likely?

Analysing these questions in the echo chamber of one’s own frustration is not reliable.
For as long as I can remember I have Continue reading

Credit where credit is due

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on April 28, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Having got home from the pub, my head was down. Metaphorically and physically.
She asked why.
I briefly articulated my sense of having let my kid down. (I know, Dear Reader, that it’s just a birthday cake, and it tastes fine – it’s trivial. But it’s not.)
She insisted I hadn’t let them down.
I pointed out that, if this was to be the last time I got to do this, it’s a shit way to bow out.
Why would it be the last time?
Had She not noticed the Continue reading

The most depressing conversation I’ve ever heard

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Parenting with tags , , , on April 28, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

For as long as I can remember I have said that parenting sucks, being a dad rocks, and being a father comes with a weight of responsibility I still can’t get my head around.
Today was a dad day.
Or it should have been.
Today should have rocked.

One of my big dad things is Continue reading

Breaking point

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , on March 29, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

I’ll spare you the details. Or perhaps I’ll spare me the details. They are either inconsequential, or I just don’t want to go back over them in my head. It’s hard enough that any of this is happening. So …

Two big fights in a week.
Fights that have seen my Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: