Archive for Escorts


Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , on April 11, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m bored.
Bored bored bored bored bored!

For no exciting reason, I’m away from home for a couple of days at short notice. Other than essential clothes and washbag, I have nothing with me save for my phone.
There’s bugger all to do here.
I’m bored.
Mind numbingly bored.

And as usual, when I’m bored, all I can Continue reading

The casualties of war 

Posted in Sexual politics with tags , , , , , on November 3, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

The night of our initial big fight we had been out for supper with an old friend. Amongst other topics of conversation were gender rolls and feminism. We were all singing off the same page, and agreed that whilst women have enjoyed the benefits of the sexual revolution

Continue reading

Guilt free

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , , on January 7, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

I turned out of our road and headed for town. She was 30yds ahead of me, but even at that distance she caught my attention. I picked up my pace to catch up with her. I had no intention of speaking to her, or engaging with her in any way whatsoever, nor did I have anything remotely nefarious in mind. She was just … what was it about her?

At about 5’4″ with dark hair pulled up into a pony tail, she was Continue reading

Working arrangements 

Posted in Escorts, Fiction with tags , , , , on June 16, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Times have been tough, but they’ve been picking up. With more time on my hands and an improving employment market I found myself in a new job. It’s not an exciting job, though far better than stacking shelves on the night shift. It’s just running the desk in a small, middle weight hotel. The pay is ok, the hours are regular, I’m pretty much left to my own devices, and the benefits have turned out to be surprisingly good. Financially and …

Picture the scene:

It was a slow, boring afternoon, a few weeks after I’d started working there and in she walks. I guess she’s mid 30s, has a slim athletic build with nice tits (I guess a C-cup), average height, long Continue reading

DLS 16a : Older but wiser

Posted in Escorts, Porn with tags , , , , on May 19, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Having shunned porn in favour of food yesterday, I had another long drive home today. Several hours.

In these days of nouveau prudishness, British motorway service areas are one of the most reliable places to source soft porn mags. I don’t know why: maybe there’s an inescapably lucrative market that comes with the anonymity of itinerant purchasers, so even Continue reading


Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , on May 1, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Search through the solicitous online adverts for escorts, and you’ll notice two acronyms that crop up time and time again: PSE and GFE. Services offered by those hiring out their bodies for the pleasure of others … and hopefully themselves. Yet amongst the euphemisms that allude to what they’ll to your body, or permit you to do to theirs, these two abbreviations are unusual as they are more holistic in their implication. For those unfamiliar with the language of prostitution they Continue reading

Conditional perfect

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , , , , on April 29, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Perverts these days. They don’t know how good they’ve got it.
Let me explain, Dear Reader.

In a comment for Party. Part. Party, when one of my Favorite Commenters said she was feeling too ill to masturbate, I jokingly reeplied …

If I could lend you my fingers, tongue and dick, I would gladly do so, if just to aid your recovery. (If only I could lend them to so many of my readers. Now wouldn’t that be fun!)

She replied …

Ah, if only! But thanks for the thought!

And then Another Commenter said …

Oh, lend me, lend me! (Hands way up in the air, I probably should get in line.) 😉

As my ego and erection swelled in unison, there was then a brief conversation between Continue reading

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