Archive for Fetishwear

Baking as a metaphore for life

Posted in Fetishwear, Sexual politics, Underwear with tags , , , , , on January 14, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Is it normal to rehearse conversations? I don’t know, but I do it a lot. Frequently they’re conversations that will never happen, or have already happened. I guess it’s just a way to process my thoughts.

Having cancelled my appointments with a therapist, I have contemplated Continue reading

Bad ideas – 3 : Pandora’s case

Posted in Bad ideas, Fixing a broken marriage, Porn, Sex toys, Underwear with tags , , , on October 5, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

In case you thought my plotting attempts to passively engage my Wife in conversation about celibacy (or indeed any remedial options) were limited to duplicitous provocations with underwear and laundry, remember there is no shortage of perversions I could allow my Wife stumble upon.

There’s the selection of Continue reading

Sinful Sunday 390 – Not seeing red

Posted in Fetishwear, Sinful Sunday with tags , , , on September 29, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

When my attention was first piqued by the erotic potential of rubber clothing, back in the late 80s / early 90s, the only fetishwear you could get hold of easily was black [Ed: Easily!? That’s a fucking joke! Sex shops were immeasurably different places three decades ago and buying latex underwear was strictly the province of only the most diligent perverts!] … or sometimes red, or perhaps that slightly sickly, translucent, yellowish hue of natural latex.

Sinful Sunday

Kinky couture has come a long way since then. Most sex shops will stock some basic rubber these days, there’s no shortage of models, chanteuses and actresses who will happily turn up to an award ceremony in a LB(r)D, and you’d be pushed to think of a colour you can’t find rubber in.

Whilst my first latex was indeed a

Continue reading

Wierd kink

Posted in Fetishwear, Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , on October 22, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

If you’re of a similar age to me, Dear Male Reader, one of your most vivid cinematic memories will be Kelly LeBrock in Wierd Science. When we were barely pubescent, she was pretty much the hottest woman we’d ever seen. (Obviously that was about the same time we discovered porn, so the goal posts moved a little very quickly after. But hey … she was still the woman of our dreams!) On the off chance you’re not familiar with the film, [spoiler alert] it follows the adventures of two teenage geeks who, by the wonders of accidental science, create their perfect woman, and she turns out to be even better than in their wet dreams.

As I mentioned recently, I revisited an old project, designing Continue reading

Back for more

Posted in Dreaming of sex with tags , , , , on June 14, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Everyone’s is familiar with the concept of the recurring nightmare, but if my mind is anything like normal (whatever that is) I think it’s fair to say that most dreams are unique, even if they cover similar territory. And that’s just as true of sex dreams as any other genre. So I was a little surprised this morning to wake from a dream which I’ve visited before. Or rather wake from a dream about a sex shop I’ve visited before. To be precise, a dream about Continue reading

Making space

Posted in Fetishwear, Porn, Sex toys, Underwear with tags , , , , , on February 4, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

The bulk of my sex toys, porn and kinky clothing is kept in My Wooden Chest of Naughty Little Secrets. It is a lockable wooden chest, about 14″ x 10″ x 8″ that was actually my tuck box when I was at boarding school. I’ve never hidden the box itself – it has always just lived openly in my bedroom (when I lived alone), or beside my desk (in our spare bedroom) – but it always remains locked. It currently contains the following: Continue reading

DLS #12 : Out with the chaps

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear with tags , , , on February 2, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

It is quite likely that my sexual resurgence of the last couple of days was catalyzed by my Wife’s having to go away from home on business for a few days. It invariably brings out the pervert in me. Usually I’ll end up wearing my cock cage or ball stretchers and tossing myself off two or three times a day, until She comes home. Continue reading

The wrong trousers

Posted in Fetishwear, Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , , on November 30, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

When my Wife got home from work last night, She spotted my new T-shirt waiting to get put away.
Her : When did you get that cool new T-shirt?
Me : The radio station sent it to me.
Her : What did you win it for?
Me : I didn’t win it. They just sent it to me because of a text I sent in.

I explained about the question the DJ had posed to the audience and about the text I had sent in response. It was about my old PVC jeans.

Continue reading

Super sex

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 2, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

Of all the superheroes to have been peeled off the pages of Marvel and DC comics and thrust onto the silver screen in glorious live-action, very few seem to have had an obvious sex life. Admittedly Mr Fantastic and the Invisible Woman are married with two kids, so they’ve obviously got jiggy a couple of times. And Superman and Lois Lane are perpetually dating, but Continue reading

The price I’ve paid for sex

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , , , on January 23, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

An entirely unrelated and random conversation recently made me wonder how much money I’ve ever spent on sex, without actually procuring the services of a paid assistant. And being the bored little perv that I am, I thought I’d try to work it out. As I put the list together I found it quite enlightening, and pleasing,  to realise the variety of toys, clothes, porn and general sexual paraphernalia I have purchased over the years. It seems I’m quite eclectic in my taste. Continue reading

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