Archive for Kink

(Sex) positive action

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , on May 24, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Searching for the right counsellor is a thankless task. There’s no shortage of people who claim to be able to sort out every manner of problem, and no shortage of online profiles to read where you just have to swipe left.

But it’s a task I’ve made a point of embracing over the last few days.
And it has felt a surprisingly positive step. Perhaps most because it was something my Wife and I agreed on, but more significantly because there was no friction over Me taking the lead on finding a counsellor.

Loosely speaking, my Wife’s criteria hinged on Continue reading

Bacon and pegging

Posted in Ball stretching, Deconstructing me, Fetishwear, Fixing a broken marriage, Male pubic waxing, Sinful Sunday, The Red Torsolette, Underwear with tags , , , , , on May 4, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

In the 3 days since I had my introductory conversation with a counsellor, Sandra, it has almost constantly been on my mind. In a good way.
Over the last week or so, I’ve also been working Continue reading

I won’t tell if he won’t

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , , , , , on August 15, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

My phone buzzed in my pocket, alerting me to a text message.
Darren’s SMS: Are we still on for tomorrow?
My SMS: Absolutely.
A week earlier I’d arranged to meet Darren to chat about helping him out on a job. When we’d exchanged emails,  I’d suggested I knew a cafe just off Oxford St, though hadn’t been specific.
(Don’t worry if you don’t know where that or any other locations mentioned are.)
Darren’s SMS: Anywhere in particular? Or there’s a cool place on Warren St.
In my head: I know there is, but Continue reading

Of closets and drawers and subtlety

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Underwear with tags , , , , on October 14, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

In the  … oh, how many years has it been Dear Reader? … 4 years? … 5 years? … since I became a sex blogger, how often have you told me I need to be open with my Wife about how much I need sex in my life? How often have you (rightly) lectured me on why I’m being unfair to both Her and myself? How often have you told me I should tell Her about my love of kink? How often, that I should come out of my own personal, self-destructive closet?
Far too often!

I’m not one for confrontation – the though of telling my Wife I’m a kinky pervert and celibacy erodes both me and our relationship a bit more every day is probably the one thing that actually terrifies me.
So I haven’t.
Fuck knows, on one level, I’d dearly love to have that conversation, but the prospect of how it might end is the thing that stops me even starting the conversation.
Well … Continue reading

Exit strategy and Internet dating

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sexual politics with tags , on November 12, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

6 months or so back We had a particularly bad patch. Because I said I’m not going to talk about such things, I’m not going to elaborate, suffice to say it got my head moving off in an unprecedented direction: an extraction plan. What if We were to separate? I considered the logistics: work, residence, pets, employment, parental access, finance, furniture … and sex.

Where would I get sex?
How would I start dating?
And how would Continue reading

Fucket list – PS

Posted in Sex with other people with tags , , , , on August 9, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Many of your number, Dear Reader, will be familiar with High Fidelity, the film starring Jon Cusack. Hopefully more of you will have read the book on which it’s based, by Nick Hornby. For those who are not, Rob, the main character makes lists: not in an OCD way, but rather centred around Top 5s: Top 5 Side 1, Track 1; Top 5 Angry Songs About Women, Top 5 Dream Jobs …

The first list we are introduced to in the book is Top 5 Most Memorable Break Ups – a list of his exes who’s departures have left the greatest mark on him. Through the book, amongst other things, we follow Rob as he attempts to make contact with the women on this list. Not particularly with the expectation of rekindling old flames but rather, since he had just been dumped, out of some need for closure, at least on past relationships. (If you’ve not read the book and this puts you off, be assured this is only a sub plot.)

I’d like to do something similar.
I’d like to Continue reading

You’re not sticking that in me!

Posted in Meet the Masturbator, Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

A few years ago I was having a drink with a colleague, and the conversation turned to tattoos and piercings. He confessed that he’d used to have a PA, and I said I was considering one myself. His advice was to give it a miss, and although I have thought about it periodically ever since, for various reasons (not least the reaction I would have expected from my Wife – probably horror, and possibly even revulsion) I shelved the idea.

Then a while back someone asked on my blog:

I wonder if there are non-piercing P.A.’s.

Well it turns out there are and a few months ago, a sex toy arrived in the post, and I think it’s probably my kinkiest purchase to date. (I should warn you, this is not for the faint hearted and the mere thought may well bring tears to your eyes.)

Continue reading

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