Archive for Love

Seven Ages Of Sex (Or rather 9)

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , , , , , on June 23, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

When you’re 5yrs old, kissing is normal. Girls kissing boys. Girls kissing girls. Boys kissing boys.  Boys kissing dads. Mums kissing sons. Everyone snuggling up on the sofa together in their PJs means everything is normal. The world is normal.

When you’re 10yrs old, kissing is yeuch!!! Girls don’t want to go near boys coz they smell, and boys are happy to be left alone to smell. Unless they’re chasing girls and trying to make them inhale. As for your parents kissing and cuddling … double yeuch!!!! That’s sooooo gross! Just as well you’re asleep long before your dad has tied your mum to the bed and she’s eagerly whimpers Harder daddy, harder, Baby’s been a baaad girl and he thrusts his swollen willie up her swollen … oh yeah … willies and … well, girls don’t have willies, do they … that’s all just hilarious.

When you’re 15yrs old, girls want to kiss boys, and Continue reading

An epiphany or two

Posted in Not quite about sex but ..., Sexual politics with tags , , , , , , on October 3, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

Sometimes I think WP should give bloggers the ability to add sub-headings to posts. If that were possible, this blog entry would be subtitled A good reason to be unfaithful … and a good reason not to.

A good reason to be unfaithful …

As I walked into town the other day I passed a mum on the school run, and I had an epiphany. We are neighbors, have chatted a few times, and I don’t dislike her per se, but I doubt we’ll ever spend any time in each other’s company, except by merit of coincidence. She’s about the same age as me, relatively attractive (though relies quite heavily on designer labels and makeup), and has a pretty good figure (bigger tits than I like, but hey …) The important thing is that, if we lived in a world without consequences and if the opportunity arose, yes, I’d happily fuck her. And as I was struck by this thought, I realised why people have affairs.

Continue reading


Posted in Sexual politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 7, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

… and then we had sex.
Oh come on, Dear Reader, of course we didn’t. You should know better than that. It’s been about 4 months since I last sheathed my weapon in anything more than my fist, and I hope you have enough faith in my indiscretion to know that I would have told you were it otherwise. “… and then we had sex” was just a throw-away line from a book I’m reading. (I should also add it’s not a book with any significant sexual content.)

Continue reading

The sweet smell of success

Posted in Sex with my wife with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

As previously discussed I wasn’t going to blog about sex with my Wife again for a while, but last night a long standing dream just came true for me.

For most couples it’s nothing unusual to masturbate eachother, and on the rare occasions we’ve fucked in the last 3 years, if I’ve not cum (which for reasons of poor motivation has not been uncommon) She has volunteered to tug me off. But She has not, historically, liked being masturbated. Not even during foreplay. Continue reading

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