Archive for Nothing


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , on June 3, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

10 years of marriage.
10yrs to the day.
5 years, or more, of whining about a sexless marriage on a blog.
It used to be that I found I had something to write about at least once a week. Usually twice if not three times. Sexy boots. Sex with ex-es.. The language of sex. Kink. Gender politics. Porn.
Of late I’ve mostly written of marital dysfunction and self pity. There may be a reason my readership has dwindled.

10 years to the day.
We marked it with a disappointing meal at the venue where we got married.
There was fleeting mention of

Continue reading

Timing is everything and nothing

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , on May 4, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

At some point in the day I had voiced an opinion contrary to Hers. There was always the potential for the topic to be controversial, but She reacted badly … or I presented it badly … and whilst there was no shouting or bitching, She walked out of the room. It soured most of the rest of the day with a subtle, unspoken undertone.

Come bed time, I undressed as She was in the bathroom. She had already got into Her old, baggy, black, threadbare nightshirt. As I put my bright pink, pouch enhancing trunks and t-shirt into the laundry basket, I couldn’t help but notice the delicates laundry bag containing the Infamous Red Briefs. I guessed Continue reading

For whom?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, The Red Torsolette with tags , , , on October 24, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

It was an anniversary. Not a major anniversary, just one of those that comes around every year. We booked a babysitter and in anticipation of a rare night out at my Wife’s favorite restaurant, to be followed by a nightcap at a quiet bar nearby. 

Earlier in the day I’d asked if we were going to dress up for the evening. For me, that would be an ironed shirt and polished shoes instead of the usual T-shirt and trainers. She said if you want. So I did.

Earlier still, anticipating our sortie and the significance of the date, I wondered … nay fantasized … about the possibility that She might resurrect the infamous Red Lingerie. She was just wearing a Continue reading

I shouldn’t be surprised

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own with tags on November 26, 2014 by Accidental Masturbator

She said I should see if She’s awake when I’m awake and horny significantly before the alarm clock breaks the peace.
This morning I did.
It’s been a week since we fucked, and considering it’s only about 10 days since, out of the blue, she presented Herself to me in “The Red”, it must be nearly two weeks since I’ve tossed myself off. The last couple of days my (blue) balls have let me know in no uncertain terms that the situation needed to be rectified. But I’ve resisted.

I was pretty sure from Her movements and breathing that She was awake, and after our conversation a day or two ago, when we agreed a quick fumble didn’t need to go any further, an unfinished hand job would have kept me happy. Even just a static hand wrapped around my erection, to show She knew and appreciated that I was making the effort She had suggested. Hell, I would even have been perfectly happy with just a cuddle for 45min or so.

What I didn’t expect was Continue reading

Abandon hope all ye who enter

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , on January 29, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

We went to bed early. Continue reading

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