Archive for Pegging

Out the mouths of babes

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , on October 16, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Music is a big thing for me, and I’m proud to say I have had significant success passing that on to the next generation.
We were listening to Sally MacLennane by The Pogues as we drove home from school, the track’s details displayed on the dashboard screen.

Jnr: I like that.
Me: What’s that?
Jnr: Continue reading

You’re kidding, right?

Posted in Sex toys with tags , , , , on October 3, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Confession: Since I bought my Fun Factory Share XL strapless strap-on almost exactly a year ago, the only orifices it has penetrated have been that of my Fleshlight and my mouth.
Well you would, wouldn’t you?!
Wouldn’t you?
Oh. Ok.
Well I did.

[Ed: Am has long been curious about Continue reading

Sinful Sunday 339 – Mysterious package

Posted in Not a dick pic, Sex toys, Sinful Sunday with tags , , , , on October 8, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Having placed the wholly unjustifiable order for an unfeasibly kinky, arse-and-pussy-fucking, pinky-purple, double dildo, and despite asking for the dispatch to be delayed so the discrete package didn’t arrive at the weekend (in the circumstances I really didn’t want to have to deal with well, aren’t you going to open it? ), things were bound not to go smoothly.

Sinful Sunday

First Continue reading

Pointless extravegance

Posted in Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , , on September 22, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

After I’d ordered an unjustifiable, extravagantly expensive and, lest we forget, unnecessarily transparent pair of pantsuk, I sat down and had some lunch. As my mind wandered down the dark and sticky back alleys of my consciousness, I found myself wondering how much one of my most fantasised about sex toys was retailing for these days.

I Googled it whilst I ate my salad.

Disappointingly, it appeared that the major retailers only had it in black. Much as my taste in latex fetishwear, I’m really not a fan of black for sex toys – there’s something almost sinister about it, something that suggests a power dynamic that doesn’t sit easily with me – sex should be fun, and colourful. More importantly, the fact that no one seemed to have any in any other colours made me think that the toy in question may no longer be in production … which would be disappointing. This seemed even more likely when several online sex shops seemed to be offering them at a reduced price.

Unfortunately, as I’m sure you can imagine, Loyal Reader, it’s unlikely I’ll ever have the pleasure of being on the receiving end of a

Continue reading

Do bears fuck in the woods?

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , , , on February 7, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Remember that song from when you were a kid? You know the one:

If you go down to the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today’s the day the Teddy Bears disapear off into the woods,
all dressed up in kinky stuff, and indulge in hedonsitic, depraved acts with eachother, or anything else they can lay their dirty little paws upon.

That’s how it went.
Wasn’t it?
Maybe not … or Continue reading

Stumbler

Posted in Porn with tags , , , , on January 12, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Ages ago I heard some statistic about nearly a quater of Tumbler’s content being porn.
How awesom is that? If Wikipedia is right about the number of blogs hosted by Tumbler, thats ove 60 million people sharing pics that they get off to while they are fingering their own cunts and stroking their own cocks.
So why has it taken so fucking long for me to really check it out properly?
I guess the answer is brand loyalty. For no other reason than I stumbled upon a horny blog article about Continue reading

New fantasy

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , on June 28, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

I have a new fantasy.
Well, not so much a new one, but rather an extension of a long standing fantasy, combined with unsatiated curiosity.

A few months ago we watched a film which had a higher than average number of scenes that were explicitly, if only mildly graphically, sexual. One in particular was a Continue reading

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