Archive for Pussy

The true cost

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with other people with tags , , , , on March 3, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m horny. Really. Fucking. Horny. I can feel it from my scalp to the soles of my feet. And you know the thing I want most, Dear Reader? It’s not a fuck. It’s not a wank. It’s not a blow job. Or anal. Or anything fetishistic. What I want is to¬† Continue reading

Maybe I just don’t like pussy

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with my wife with tags , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

We’re both awake at 5am, and my Wife rolls over, wrapping Her arms around me.
Her : I got woken by strange dreams.
Me : What were yours about?
Her : I can’t remember. How about yours?
Me : This is going to sound weird …
Her : OK.
Me : … anxiety about forgetting keyboard shortcuts [on the software I use for work] and trying to convince you that the cheese counter of the supermarket isn’t the right place to buy sex toys …

I have a confession, Dear Reader.
I
was having an anxiety dream about QWERTY keyboards, but the bit about my Wife trying to buy a vibrator instead of large, ripe, blue veined Stilton … That was based on a dream I had ages ago, and I’ve wanted to tell Her about it ever since. But as we don’t casually chat about sex over lunch, and have never talked about sex toys, it wasn’t going to be easy to drop into conversation. Until now.

She strokes my chest, and we both know we’re going to fuck. I’ve not had a wank in something like a fortnight – maybe it’s more – it certainly feels like it. Because I know She wants to me to cum when we fuck, rather than needing Her to finish me off with Her hands, I’ve been hoarding my sperm, and trying to remind my genitals what they were designed for. And you know what, Dear Reader? I think it just might work, this time.

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My favorite view

Posted in Porn, Sex on my own with tags , on April 19, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

My favorite view is from behind, legs together, bent over, that part where thighs become cheeks just parting around her sex, outer lips clean shaven, inner lips barely peeping out between.

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Women I’ve slept with, Part 3 : My first real girlfriend

Posted in Sex with other people with tags , , , , , , , , on March 24, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

This is a tragic tale, but not for the obvious reasons. Elizabeth was my first real girlfriend. The first girl I wanted to spend time with. The first girl I phoned regularly, went to a restaurant with, and bought gifts for. The first girl to whom I offered my heart and inevitably therefore the first girl to properly break it. We also fucked.

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Who are you and what have you done with my wife?

Posted in Sex with my wife with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

New Years Eve we took the miss-fitting lingerie back to exchange it for the correct sizes. It turns out the briefs and thong did fit, but the suspended belt and torselette needed to go up one size. And I was right about Her lovely tits being a C-cup, but I guess when you’ve spent 3 decades staring at every cleavage possible (I’m a bad person, I know) that you start to get a sense when a bra fits. Continue reading

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