Archive for Sex therapy


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on April 30, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

The road that could lead back to my Wife and me fucking is unlikely to be smooth. It’s entirely possible there are parts or that road that have been so badly damaged that the route is impassable. One way or another We’ll find out. I guess.

I would have guessed more of the stumbling blocks would have been down to my Wife than me: I’m a horny sod at the best of times, so why wouldn’t I want to get back to fucking? Especially when the emotional connection that comes from fucking has proved to be such a huge loss for me over the years.

Yet it turns out there could be Continue reading

Equally conflicted

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty, Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , on July 13, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

In Our last two relationship counselling sessions with Kirsty, We have finally got round to talking about the the big stuff. The things that you don’t talk about in polite conversation: Politics, Sex, Money and Religion – the Four Topics of The Apocalypse. Despite my having had 3 individual sessions with Kirsty just talking about Sex and, to the best of my knowledge, my Wife having one of Her own [Ed: It is difficult to know whether that 3:1 ratio has more to do with AM being proportionately more willing to talk about the sex, or that his Wife just has disproportionately little to discuss.] it is perhaps less surprising than disappointing that Continue reading

Hold the presses!!!

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , on May 28, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Would you Adam and believe it, Shocked Reader?!

Having repeatedly said in counselling that I wanted to talk about sex, and after Kirsty,our counsellor, finally picked up the baton, and My two subsequent quite explicit conversations on the subject in individual sessions, then Kirsty (privately) agreeing with Me that a) it was reasonable to say that if We aren’t going to talk about sex, I am going to phone a divorce lawyer, and b) that she shared my lack of confidence that my Wife would willingly subject Her sexuality to scrutiny …

First thing this morning I hear Continue reading

A wait lifted

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , on May 15, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Excuse me, Dear Reader. I’m not sure I quite have the strength to write this post in the detail it might perhaps merit right now. It’s been quite a 48hrs.

First there was the session with Kirsty, our relationship counsellor, when the thorny issue of sex was finally acknowledged as something that is a key to Us staying married. God knows I’ve had to wait long enough for this conversation, despite repeated attempts on my part.
Then there was yet another fight the following day. It was about something entirely different, and followed the usual pattern – a grievance met by a counter-grievance followed by silence and withdrawal from all dialog.
And finally, today there has been Continue reading

To write, or not to write …

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , on March 5, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Months ago I passively decided I wasn’t going to write about my dysfunctional marriage any more. It wasn’t a firm decision, I just didn’t feel it was helping. And yet there has been, from time to time, a nagging sense of obligation for completeness. Having spend a few days in intensive counselling with Dr Ruth, a couple of other Skype  appointments took place – one with me individually, and two with both my Wife and me. And somehow I felt I should document them. But to what end? Venting? Post-processing? Narcacism? Certainly nothing that felt significantly meritorious.

That feeling is back.
Should I write?

The reason? We’re back at Continue reading

Lost for words

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Sex on my own, Sex with my wife, Sexual politics, The Red Torsolette with tags , , , , , on July 4, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Help me out, Dear Reader.
With over 800 posts published, I’m used to finding the right words, or at least words that roughly convey the thoughts trying to escape from my head.
But I’m stuck.
I can’t think of the right words.
So maybe you can?

I’m obsessing about Continue reading

Dr Ruth asks …

Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , on June 26, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

In just a few weeks time, my Wife and I will be sitting down for several days with Dr Ruth. [Ed. She’s not the real Dr Ruth*, but she seems to have a similar air about her. Or maybe that’s just AM’s hope.] There was a bit of to-ing and fro-ing as dates were sorted out, but it’s in the diary now and the deposit is paid.

We even have a Continue reading

Baking as a metaphore for life

Posted in Fetishwear, Sexual politics, Underwear with tags , , , , , on January 14, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Is it normal to rehearse conversations? I don’t know, but I do it a lot. Frequently they’re conversations that will never happen, or have already happened. I guess it’s just a way to process my thoughts.

Having cancelled my appointments with a therapist, I have contemplated Continue reading


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Three days.
Three fights.
It’s hard to say which was the worst.
In the middle of the last, We sat down to talk.

For the most part, what She felt She got from Continue reading

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