Archive for Sex therapy

There’s therapy … and there’s thereapy

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , on October 14, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

The more I think of it, the more I think I might actually talk to a therapist about sex. One of Us needs to, and if my Wife won’t when We see a therapist together, it might as well be me on my own. [Ed: “Might as well?” That’s an odd phrase in the context.]

It’s not that I think therapy works – I’ve yet to see evidence that it does – two bouts of couples’ therapy certainly didn’t work for Us, it doesn’t seem to have done any good for those I’ve known (IRL) who’ve seen therapists, and I doubt it will work for me. That’s possibly a self defeating approach – maybe these things only work if Continue reading

Bad ideas – 1 : Her ultimatum

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , on September 28, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m full of great ideas.
Bullshit!
I’m full of ideas.
Better.
I’m full of shit ideas.
That’s more like it.

As much as I want to let go of caring, as much as I want to just be ok that the sexlife-medics are packing up the defibrillator and calling it, neither a morning nor a night passes without me musing on the deceased, and wondering if there might be some hope of necromancy.

My latest idea

A couple of moths ago, I had a Continue reading

I should be more careful

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , on March 9, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Privacy is important, especially for pervy stuff. I like to think I’m careful with what windows I leave open on my computer and that my account passwords are reasonably secure, especially those I use regularly on my smartphone. And just because I’m proud pervert, some of my passwords are a bit pervy. eg For several years my phone was locked with Continue reading

My what?!

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , , on February 3, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m fucking angry.
And I fucking hurt.
It’s less than an hour since we walked out of our third therapy session. And I’m fucking angry. And hurt. And frustrated.

Going into the safe space of the counselling room, after the previous few days, I felt no inclination to contribute. Fuck it. Let someone else do the work for a change.

Sue (our therapist) seemed stuck. She looked to me to start. I wasn’t starting.
My Wife looked to me. I still wasn’t starting.
Fuck. Apparently no-one else could start.
Sue was being paid to run the room. Let her fucking hold the conch.

I can’t remember where the conversation finally started.
I can’t remember much about the arc of the narrative.
In response to something that was said, Sue steered us back to Continue reading

Homework

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , on December 27, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

At the end of our first therapy session We were sent away with 3 bits of homework.

  1. Say something positive and affirming to each other once each day.
  2. Try a 5 Languages of Love online quiz, because usually people give what they want to get back, and it’s useful to understand how we communicate affection.
  3. And to write three lists of threes:
    • 3 things we want to keep
    • 3 things we want to discard
    • 3 things we want to introduce

We conspicuously Continue reading

Here We go again

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Six years. Would you believe it, Dear Reader? Last week represented six years since I started this blog. Having looked back at how it has told the story of much of Our Dysfunction, I’m surprised.
On the one hand, it was when I resolved to try to resucitate our flagging sex life, though I don’t really remember what had led up to that in any detail.
It was also when my Wife willingly accepted The Infamous Red Lingerie for Xmas.
And possibly most significantly, it was only a couple of months before we first visited a marriage counsellor.
I honestly can’t get my head around how these things fitted together in such a short period of time.

And here we are again. At our first session with a counsellor. Albeit one that comes from a sex therapy angle.

Sex is Continue reading

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