Archive for Sex

A wait lifted

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , , on May 15, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Excuse me, Dear Reader. I’m not sure I quite have the strength to write this post in the detail it might perhaps merit right now. It’s been quite a 48hrs.

First there was the session with Kirsty, our relationship counsellor, when the thorny issue of sex was finally acknowledged as something that is a key to Us staying married. God knows I’ve had to wait long enough for this conversation, despite repeated attempts on my part.
Then there was yet another fight the following day. It was about something entirely different, and followed the usual pattern – a grievance met by a counter-grievance followed by silence and withdrawal from all dialog.
And finally, today there has been Continue reading

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , on March 30, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

After talking to Kirsty, our counsellor, alone, I went for another walk.
The world felt heavy as I left the house. I had questions I need to answer.
By the time I returned a couple of hours later, the world felt Continue reading


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , , on March 28, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

What do I want?
Is there enough in the relationship to save?
Do I really want to save it?
Have We passed the point of no return?
Do I really want a divorce?
Or does even considering divorce inherently make it more likely?

Analysing these questions in the echo chamber of one’s own frustration is not reliable.
For as long as I can remember I have Continue reading

My side

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Kirsty with tags , , , on March 15, 2020 by Accidental Masturbator

Tense – shaking.

Y’know what, Dear Reader? I really don’t want to write a blog about counselling. I don’t want to write about psycho-sexual therapy. I don’t want to write about marital dysfunction. And yet here I am. Here We are. [Ed: Well maybe … but more of that in a moment.]

One session Together with Kirsty.
One session on My own.
The next session, my Wife’s.

Kirsty seems to be a little unusual as a relationship counsellor, in as much as she will simultaneously see those in the relationship both together and individually. From her point of view, it gives her the opportunity to get to know what is going on with each partner, understand their perspective, and learn about them as individuals. This makes sense to me – if a couple can’t Continue reading


Posted in Dr Ruth, Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , on July 25, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Having ended Day 2 with Dr Ruth in a decidedly crap place, it was difficult to at least not be unsettled going into Day 3.
It was plain all three of us were aware of that.

So Day 3, our last day, needed to be about Continue reading

Not preaching to the inconvertible

Posted in Deconstructing me with tags , , , on May 1, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Well that was interesting, wasn’t it.
My first counselling session.
Yeah … I know … right?!

After a phone conversation the other day, today was the initial appointment.
An hour Continue reading


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Three days.
Three fights.
It’s hard to say which was the worst.
In the middle of the last, We sat down to talk.

For the most part, what She felt She got from Continue reading


Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Random stuff about sex, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

I’d had a shit morning.
Life on the front line of being a grownup had seen fit to give me two good kicks before We left the house. The consequence, I could so easily have pulled out of going to our therapy session today. It even went through my mind to get there and then excuse myself, leaving my Wife to talk to Sue on Her own.
But I didn’t.
Perhaps that would have taken more spine than I could muster.

Sue: You’ve been away. How was that?
Her: It started well on the first day. The next couple were more difficult, without us talking a great deal.
Sue turned to me …
Sue: How do you feel it went.
Me: It was Continue reading

One step forward, two steps back.

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2018 by Accidental Masturbator

Relationship Counselling / Sex Therapy : Session #4.
It’s 3 weeks since our last session.
At Session #3, The Big Bad had been mentioned as a subject for future discussion.
Obviously by The Big Bad, I mean SEX.

We didn’t start talking about sex.

How were we doing?
My Wife opined that Continue reading

Here We go again

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex therapy with tags , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2017 by Accidental Masturbator

Six years. Would you believe it, Dear Reader? Last week represented six years since I started this blog. Having looked back at how it has told the story of much of Our Dysfunction, I’m surprised.
On the one hand, it was when I resolved to try to resucitate our flagging sex life, though I don’t really remember what had led up to that in any detail.
It was also when my Wife willingly accepted The Infamous Red Lingerie for Xmas.
And possibly most significantly, it was only a couple of months before we first visited a marriage counsellor.
I honestly can’t get my head around how these things fitted together in such a short period of time.

And here we are again. At our first session with a counsellor. Albeit one that comes from a sex therapy angle.

Sex is Continue reading

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