Archive for Sex

The aftermath

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on October 5, 2013 by Accidental Masturbator

When my Wife got home from work nothing was said about the text conversation. No surprise there.
My balls still ached, badly enough that the vast majority of my horniness was displaced hours ago.
I went off into the Big Smoke and networked successfully (I think).
About 10pm I got a text from my Wife saying “It’s no good. Cant stay awake. Going to bed.” As I was at best 90min from home, and there were folk I still needed to talk to, there was no way She was going to be up for a fuck by the time I got home.
When I eventually did, She stirred, Continue reading

Boxing Day blues

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Sex with tags , , , , on December 27, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

4:30am on Boxing Day is a bad time to be awake and horny.
Especially when the object of your lust is fast asleep and is guaranteed not to appreciate being woken for a fuck.
5:30am on Boxing Day is a bad time to be still awake and still horny.
Time to get up, and go downstairs. Continue reading

A cure?

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , , on December 18, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m grumpy this evening. Seriously grumpy. And I have good reasons to be. (That’s another story, but be assured it’s got nothing to do with the state of my marriage.)
I’ve drunk enough gin. (This has not made me happier, but it has not worsened my mood.)
And last night I had the worst night’s sleep I’ve had in a very, very long time. (Not as much as one continuous hour’s sleep.) Continue reading

An epiphany or two

Posted in Not quite about sex but ..., Sexual politics with tags , , , , , , on October 3, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

Sometimes I think WP should give bloggers the ability to add sub-headings to posts. If that were possible, this blog entry would be subtitled A good reason to be unfaithful … and a good reason not to.

A good reason to be unfaithful …

As I walked into town the other day I passed a mum on the school run, and I had an epiphany. We are neighbors, have chatted a few times, and I don’t dislike her per se, but I doubt we’ll ever spend any time in each other’s company, except by merit of coincidence. She’s about the same age as me, relatively attractive (though relies quite heavily on designer labels and makeup), and has a pretty good figure (bigger tits than I like, but hey …) The important thing is that, if we lived in a world without consequences and if the opportunity arose, yes, I’d happily fuck her. And as I was struck by this thought, I realised why people have affairs.

Continue reading

DLS #3 : Swim club pt2

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets with tags , , , on February 16, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

As promised in DLS2, (What do you mean? You haven’t read it?) I went for an early morning swim again today, and as promised, again I opted for some post plunge penis pounding.

I’ll spare you the boring details – let’s be honest, you’re not here to read that the pool was more crowded and the average lane speed was greater, nor do you care about the arrogant twat in hi-tec knee length Speedos who kept getting in the way or the granny who must have been a medalist in her day. No, you’re here because you want to know if my muscles held out and I successfully attended to my man muscle.

Continue reading

Who are you and what have you done with my wife?

Posted in Sex with my wife with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2012 by Accidental Masturbator

New Years Eve we took the miss-fitting lingerie back to exchange it for the correct sizes. It turns out the briefs and thong did fit, but the suspended belt and torselette needed to go up one size. And I was right about Her lovely tits being a C-cup, but I guess when you’ve spent 3 decades staring at every cleavage possible (I’m a bad person, I know) that you start to get a sense when a bra fits. Continue reading

Size matters

Posted in Random stuff about sex, The Red Torsolette, Underwear with tags , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2011 by Accidental Masturbator

How often do we hear the phrase that “size doesn’t matter”?
Let’s be honest, that’s bollocks.

I was reminded of this a) by reading I fucked two guys on christmas night (the men in question apparently had 8″ dicks) and b) by buying my Wife the wrong size underwear for Xmas. (Thankfully it was too small, not too large – we both know we both need to loose weight, get fit and have more sex in 2012). Continue reading

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