About AM

(December 2023)
Accidental Masturbator, or AM to his blogging friends, vividly remembers the 1980s. That was when he first discovered his interest in sex. By the mid 80s, he was regularly going cross-eyed over Mayfair magazine and wishing he knew how to get a girlfriend.

Over the next 20 or so years, he spent a lot of time masturbating and vaguely figured out how to get a girlfriend. In the process he discovered that he really did like sex quite a lot, not least because he was fortunate enough to have partners who liked sex just as much … if not more. Some of them were quite kinky too and with their help he learned about BDSM, anal, pubic depilation, latex fetish, waterspsorts, and any number of other sexual activities which have only really become socially acceptable in the last few years. AM also started to figure out which of these he most liked, which he disliked, and which he was perfectly happy to engage in if it turns his partner on.

Then came the accident.
AM married someone for whom sex really wasn’t a big deal. What followed was initially an adequate, albeit hierarchical marriage, in which AM took on the traditional roll of mother and home-maker, whilst his Wife forged on with her executive career. Meanwhile, their sex life pretty much dried up.

In 2012, whilst browsing the internet for who knows what, AM stumbled upon a blog post in which the pollyamorous author had challenged herself to kiss 5 new people in 10 days and encouraged her readers to set themselves similar goals. AM accepted and tasked himself with actively trying to engineer some good sex back into his lacklustre marriage … and blogging about it in the process.

Initially it seemed beneficial, on both counts. The marriage bounced along for a few more years and there was just enough intimacy to absorb the bumps and shocks of day to day living. Feeling somewhat isolated as one of very few full time dads, AM also increasingly fell in with the sex bloggers community, making some genuine friends along the way. Publishing just short of 1000 posts, writing also became a way for AM to exorcise and understand his own sexuality in the absence of a functioning sexual relationship.

Then, one fateful night in 2017, there was a (strictly verbal) fight between AM and his Wife. It started with AM saying to Her “I’m enjoying being out with my Wife” at which she took offence, and ended with him deciding to sleep in the spare bedroom.
There was never any invitation to return and from then on, the marriage was entirely sexless.

The exponential decrease of both physical and emotional intimacy that followed, exposed the cracks in the marriage and it all started to crumble. Despite seeing several marriage counsellors, AM and his wife’s divorce finally came through in late 2023.

In the meantime, AM had mothballed his blog as, rather than being a vicariously celebratory space for his love of sex, it had become an echo chamber for his unhappiness. But as the wheels of the divorce-machine slowly turned, AM deleted his old posts and started writing again. In doing so, he was reminded that he likes sex. He likes sex a lot. And that’s absolutely OK, because reconnecting with his old sex-blogging friends also reminded him that lot of people like sex a lot too.

As we stumble into 2024, AM is single, has finally moved into his own house and is starting to build a new life for himself. His sex toys, fetish-wear, porn and extensive collection of of convention-challenging underwear are no longer quite so hidden, he taking his first steps into the world of Online Dating and is much, much happier.

So if you are sex positive, like reading all the sexy things that go on inside someone else’s head (and hopefully their pants^uk too) you’ve come to the right place. If you don’t that’s fine – not everybody does.

If you care about these things, and we sincerely hope you don’t, AM is straight, serially monogamous, able bodied, cis gendered, middle class and male and, whilst he is aware that affords him some degree of privilege, none of these attributes are choices so he tries not to let any resulting sense of guilt stop him sleeping.
More importantly, it really doesn’t matter what your pronouns or chromosomes are, whether you get about on wheels or legs, or if you skin is the hue of chocolate or a freshly boiled lobster, because AM genuinely doesn’t care – if you’re interesting and not an arsehole, you’re welcome here.