Get it made

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on June 15, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

One of my more recent discoveries is Latex Fashion TV, a website I stumbled across on Tumblr and one that does what it says on the tin. [Please excuse me if that popular cultural reference doesn’t translate out of EnglishUK.]

And as good things lead to good things, I then learned about Continue reading

The moment after

Posted in Random stuff about sex on June 14, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

There’s that moment when you realise you didn’t put the porn away, and can’t remember where you put it. The moment you realise you could have left it somewhere where your sexually repressed, anti-porn partner could find it.

And then there’s the moment when all is resolved.

After you’ve spent more than a few moments over the last few days Continue reading


Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags on June 12, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

I have a theory, Dear Reader. But before I expound upon it I need your input.

It’s a simple question, and one I shall explain if I can get enough raw data, but I don’t want to guide you’re answers, so … Continue reading

That moment

Posted in Porn, Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , on June 9, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

That moment when you’re reminded of the last time you watched that no-holes-barred porno DVD.

That moment after you had Continue reading

Girl with a pearl necklace 

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on February 14, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Stuck when it comes to picking a Valentien’s Gift?

Say pearl necklace to your Great Aunt Ethel, and there’s a good chance she’ll think of exquisite, aquatic jewellery, handed down from generation to generation.

Say pearl necklace to the lads down the pub, and even if they don’t say so out loud, I’ll wager most think of pulling out and shooting their load over their partners face. (They should be so lucky!)

But say pearl necklace to Continue reading

Reblog: Bondage for Beginners

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags on February 11, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Bondage isn’t a huge thing for me in the way it is for some of you, Lovely Perverts. It’s fun, and I’ll certainly enjoy a blindfold, a rope, or handcuffs, or a riding crop given the opportunity and the right partner, but it’s not specifically My Kink. That said, if you haven’t tried it, you probably should. So here, courtesy of Kayla Lords, here’s a sponsored reblog on why and how.

Over to you Kayla … Continue reading

Do bears fuck in the woods?

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , , , on February 7, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Remember that song from when you were a kid? You know the one:

If you go down to the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today’s the day the Teddy Bears disapear off into the woods,
all dressed up in kinky stuff, and indulge in hedonsitic, depraved acts with eachother, or anything else they can lay their dirty little paws upon.

That’s how it went.
Wasn’t it?
Maybe not … or Continue reading


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