Man vs Machine

Posted in Sex toys with tags , , , on May 21, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

I’ve discussed before how I tend to have a far more productive day at my desk when my balls are well drained, and how, on numerous occasions, I have had an unproductive morning, followed by a lunchtime wank to dispense with both a load of my jizz and the irritation of feeling horny, followed by a really productive afternoon. QED.

Well there are days when Continue reading

DLS 16a : Older but wiser

Posted in Escorts, Porn with tags , , , , on May 19, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Having shunned porn in favour of food yesterday, I had another long drive home today. Several hours.

In these days of nouveau prudishness, British motorway service areas are one of the most reliable places to source soft porn mags. I don’t know why: maybe there’s an inescapably lucrative market that comes with the anonymity of itinerant purchasers, so even Continue reading

DLS 16 : Maybe I’m getting old. 

Posted in Dirty Little Secrets, Fetishwear, Sex on my own, Sex toys with tags , , , , on May 18, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Unusually I was away from home sans wife and offspring last night. Family business took me several hundred miles away from home overnight. I was staying with relatives but also taking the opportunity to visit an old school friend. Which presented another opportunity: the other day I spent an hour or so perusing locally available services on but time was short, budget was limited, and if I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure how motivated I really am. Maybe next time.

However, being away from home life somehow always brings out the pervert in me.

So yesterday, as I drove Continue reading


Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , on May 1, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Search through the solicitous online adverts for escorts, and you’ll notice two acronyms that crop up time and time again: PSE and GFE. Services offered by those hiring out their bodies for the pleasure of others … and hopefully themselves. Yet amongst the euphemisms that allude to what they’ll to your body, or permit you to do to theirs, these two abbreviations are unusual as they are more holistic in their implication. For those unfamiliar with the language of prostitution they Continue reading

Conditional perfect

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , , , , on April 29, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Perverts these days. They don’t know how good they’ve got it.
Let me explain, Dear Reader.

In a comment for Party. Part. Party, when one of my Favorite Commenters said she was feeling too ill to masturbate, I jokingly reeplied …

If I could lend you my fingers, tongue and dick, I would gladly do so, if just to aid your recovery. (If only I could lend them to so many of my readers. Now wouldn’t that be fun!)

She replied …

Ah, if only! But thanks for the thought!

And then Another Commenter said …

Oh, lend me, lend me! (Hands way up in the air, I probably should get in line.) ;)

As my ego and erection swelled in unison, there was then a brief conversation between Continue reading


Posted in Not quite about sex but ..., Sexual politics with tags , , , , on April 23, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

Normality is boring.
Ok, that’s quite a negative way of looking at it. Normality is comfortable and reassuring and safe. But stepping outside the norm is fun. Challenging preconceptions is a lot of fun. And running the gauntlet when it comes to sex is something some of us consider rather special kind of fun. Which is precisely what Continue reading

Time for a change

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , on April 22, 2015 by Accidental Masturbator

If you know this blog well, Dear Reader, and have been dropping by regularly over the last month or so, you’ll know it’s been quiet round here recently. For various reasons I’ve been re-assessing why I write publicly and what I write about. I think it can all be summed up in the following ways:

  1. It’s fun. I’ve always enjoyed sex, and writing about it is almost as self gratifying as Continue reading

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