Object of desire

Posted in Porn, Sexual politics on September 19, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

You may remember, Dear Reader, (if you were reading back when I still blogged regularly), that my Wife complained that She didn’t want to be objectified by lingerie.

At some point, I recall having mused on my own desire to be objectified. I’d love to be used for sex once more. It’s been far too long since someone who just needed a damn good fucking, and little more, wanted me to satisfy their need. To make use of my cock, my fingers, my tongue, to provide purely for their needs.

This morning, I swelled to this image, shared by ErotixxContinue reading

No sex please, we’re British bakers

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , on September 18, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

We were watching Great British Bake Off.
For those who don’t know, it’s a monumentally successful UK TV game show, nay a national obsession, in which contestants’ baking efforts are judged by professional, celebrity bakers. Yeah, I know. Could there ever be a TV show more quintessentially British!?

It was Batter Week.
For those for whom that makes no sense as a concept … Continue reading

Get it made

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on June 15, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

One of my more recent discoveries is Latex Fashion TV, a website I stumbled across on Tumblr and one that does what it says on the tin. [Please excuse me if that popular cultural reference doesn’t translate out of EnglishUK.]

And as good things lead to good things, I then learned about Continue reading

The moment after

Posted in Random stuff about sex on June 14, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

There’s that moment when you realise you didn’t put the porn away, and can’t remember where you put it. The moment you realise you could have left it somewhere where your sexually repressed, anti-porn partner could find it.

And then there’s the moment when all is resolved.

After you’ve spent more than a few moments over the last few days Continue reading


Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags on June 12, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

I have a theory, Dear Reader. But before I expound upon it I need your input.

It’s a simple question, and one I shall explain if I can get enough raw data, but I don’t want to guide you’re answers, so … Continue reading

That moment

Posted in Porn, Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , on June 9, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

That moment when you’re reminded of the last time you watched that no-holes-barred porno DVD.

That moment after you had Continue reading

Girl with a pearl necklace 

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on February 14, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Stuck when it comes to picking a Valentien’s Gift?

Say pearl necklace to your Great Aunt Ethel, and there’s a good chance she’ll think of exquisite, aquatic jewellery, handed down from generation to generation.

Say pearl necklace to the lads down the pub, and even if they don’t say so out loud, I’ll wager most think of pulling out and shooting their load over their partners face. (They should be so lucky!)

But say pearl necklace to Continue reading

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