Girl with a pearl necklace 

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on February 14, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Stuck when it comes to picking a Valentien’s Gift?

Say pearl necklace to your Great Aunt Ethel, and there’s a good chance she’ll think of exquisite, aquatic jewellery, handed down from generation to generation.

Say pearl necklace to the lads down the pub, and even if they don’t say so out loud, I’ll wager most think of pulling out and shooting their load over their partners face. (They should be so lucky!)

But say pearl necklace to Continue reading

Reblog: Bondage for Beginners

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags on February 11, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Bondage isn’t a huge thing for me in the way it is for some of you, Lovely Perverts. It’s fun, and I’ll certainly enjoy a blindfold, a rope, or handcuffs, or a riding crop given the opportunity and the right partner, but it’s not specifically My Kink. That said, if you haven’t tried it, you probably should. So here, courtesy of Kayla Lords, here’s a sponsored reblog on why and how.

Over to you Kayla … Continue reading

Do bears fuck in the woods?

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , , , on February 7, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Remember that song from when you were a kid? You know the one:

If you go down to the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today’s the day the Teddy Bears disapear off into the woods,
all dressed up in kinky stuff, and indulge in hedonsitic, depraved acts with eachother, or anything else they can lay their dirty little paws upon.

That’s how it went.
Wasn’t it?
Maybe not … or Continue reading

Rubbery rainbow

Posted in Fetishwear, Porn on February 5, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Just a little self pimping today. Well sort of self. Because whilst it’s me, it’s really other people.

Having recently discovered the pervy delights of Tumblr, for the moment I’ve found myself using it as my prefered provider of porn. Except most of what I’m enjoying isn’t quite porn, because Continue reading

Win some, loose some

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Underwear with tags , on February 3, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

Whilst there were a couple of militaristic analogies drawn in Black (lace) ops and Enemy (panty) lines, it was not with a combative mindset that I embarked on my destructive subterfuge. My intentions were more catalytic than combative.

I hoped that hastening the demise of Continue reading

Nadir

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage on February 2, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

And this is it. We are back Live from the world of AM. The I Know I Said I Wouldn’t saga is complete, spanning 16 Episodes and just under a year. Anything on the subject that follows is pretty much as it happens. If you’ve got to this post without reading the last few episodes, I’d advise you do so. Just for the sake of background knowledge.

Day 5312
Today
The foreplay was hard work. Not really hard work, but hard enough that I needed to remind myself that it was worth the effort. And it was worth the effort. It was good. I enjoyed myself. I enjoyed Her enjoying Herself. My cock hardly Continue reading

I know I said I wouldn’t … Pt 16

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage on February 2, 2016 by Accidental Masturbator

This is it, Dear Reader. The last installment of the I Know I Said I Wouldn’t saga that will bring you up to date. I wasn’t going to post it today, but after this morning, I just feel it’s time to get all this catching up out of the way. An individual post will follow today as well, but it’s probably worth making sure you’re up to speed first.

Day 5304
I put a hand on Her thigh long before the alarm went off.
Her: How are you doing.
Me: Fine.
Her: I guess I should take it as a positive that you’re trying to have sex. But Continue reading

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