Synonymous

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags on May 3, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

As I showered the other morning, I found myself musing over how, maybe 8 or 9 months ago, I’d felt uncomfortable with my arm around my Wife, and how that had received cursory discussion with Kirsty (our last counsellor). My discomfort at the potentially proprietorial overtones was mentioned, but not that I was uneasy making

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Unimaginable

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on April 30, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

The road that could lead back to my Wife and me fucking is unlikely to be smooth. It’s entirely possible there are parts or that road that have been so badly damaged that the route is impassable. One way or another We’ll find out. I guess.

I would have guessed more of the stumbling blocks would have been down to my Wife than me: I’m a horny sod at the best of times, so why wouldn’t I want to get back to fucking? Especially when the emotional connection that comes from fucking has proved to be such a huge loss for me over the years.

Yet it turns out there could be Continue reading

Irritation

Posted in Meet the Masturbator, Sex on my own with tags , , on April 15, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

In a marriage counselling session, maybe three years ago, my Wife opined that I wanted sex every day.
In the very early days of our relationship, when She asked how often I masturbated, I lied and said a couple of times a week – the reality was a couple of times a day.
Even now, as I subside into a slower middle age, it is an unusual day when Continue reading

Wot no meat?

Posted in Sexual politics, Underwear with tags , , on April 14, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

`For the first time in an age and a half, I dug out my see-through Manstore briefs from the back of the underwear drawer and smiled as I looked at myself in the mirror. They are ridiculous, but they make me smile, and more importantly, they make me feel sexy. To quote Sheldon Cooper, “they’re underwear that’s fun to wear.” See … Continue reading

Step into the unknown

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on April 12, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

A week after having vowed to snuggle up on the sofa every evening, and go for a (short) walk once a day, We went for a (long) let’s-check-how-We’re-getting-on week-end walk. If I say the last couple of long walks have each been over 8 miles, that should give you some idea, Dear Reader, of how much ground We have covered conversationally too.

About 3 days into the week Continue reading

Mathematical inequalities

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , , , , on April 11, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

Most men, even adequately endowed men, like the idea of having a bigger cock, and … well … let’s be honest, whilst many women might not be enthusiastic about a genuinely monster member, nobody wants a small cock. Right? Right! But unless you’ve equipped with your own pussy, I’ll wager you’ve not thought much beyond the locker-room status of being hung like a horse.

I certainly hadn’t appreciated one aspect of being well hug until I saw this …

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Tradition

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , on April 8, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

After breakfast, as my Wife packed Her bag to leave for the office …
Me: I’ve got to run an errand and it’s cold – do you want a lift to the station?
She accepted.

5min later, in the station car park, She unbuckled Her seatbelt and Continue reading

Positive marketing

Posted in Sexual politics, Underwear with tags , , on April 7, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

Airbrushing the pimples, blemishes and wrinkles from advertising campaigns has been with us for a very long time. Whether its beauty products, household detergents, family hatchbacks, or political campaigns, little escapes the touch-up artist. And it’s not just the pictures – you’re no more likely to read an ad banner proclaiming this exfoliating cream causes skin irritation for 3% of users than you are Continue reading

Not the ending I expected

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , , , on April 4, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

It doesn’t really matter where arguments started. It matters where they ended.

In between, there were two or three others, and an increasing agreement that the next step was both inevitable and terminal. It’s not a step that I really want to take, because of the consequences for me. It’s apparently not a step that my Wife wants to have to take, not least because of the consequences it will have for me. For all She might want rid of me, She is not unsympathetic. But increasingly, over the space of a few days, Continue reading

A possible man-splanation

Posted in Sexual politics with tags , , , on March 18, 2021 by Accidental Masturbator

Pretty much any time you get on the train, he’s there. The alpha-male stereotype. Taking up more space than he can possibly justify.
Man-spreading
Legs splayed, as if he’s waiting for

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