Return to the scene of the crime

Posted in Escorts with tags , , on April 12, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Circumstance will bring me back to this town. I shall doubtless be bored again. And at some point I will be alone and with money in my pocket. The inevitability is all but absolute. The likelihood of me also feeling horny is extremely high.

It’s a town that has a significant itinerant population, with a plethora of hotels, and undoubtedly a discreet population who Continue reading

Bored

Posted in Meet the Masturbator with tags , , , on April 11, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

I’m bored.
Bored bored bored bored bored!

For no exciting reason, I’m away from home for a couple of days at short notice. Other than essential clothes and washbag, I have nothing with me save for my phone.
There’s bugger all to do here.
I’m bored.
Mind numbingly bored.

And as usual, when I’m bored, all I can Continue reading

Closets

Posted in Fetishwear, Sexual politics with tags , , , , on April 9, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Some months ago, I caught a few minutes of a TV show called Great Canal Journeys [Ed: Doesn’t AM just live the most exciting of lives, Dear Reader!?] in which Timothy West and Prunella Scales explored the waterways of Manchester. Amongst their stops was, perhaps inevitably, Canal Street, the epicentre of gay culture in the city. Both being old-school actors, Tim and Pru have obviously know their share of closeted queens and queers, and mused on how it wasn’t so long ago that Continue reading

Sinful Sunday 417 – The colour of fake

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage, Not a dick pic, Sinful Sunday with tags , , on April 6, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

A green plastic watering can
For a fake Chinese rubber plant
In fake plastic earth

That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself

Sinful Sunday

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Random?

Posted in Random stuff about sex with tags , , on April 3, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Put an infinite number of monkeys in a room with typewriters, and eventually one of them would produce the entire works of Shakespeare. Such is the theoretical nature of Random. If something is truly random, every once in a while something that appears not to be random will inevitably occur. In theory.

I went to login to a website this evening, and … well, you know those irritating captcha codes – supposedly random characters that are really hard for computers to read and almost as hard for humans to read … well …

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Those nights …

Posted in Random stuff about sex on April 2, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

Those nights when you look at porn …

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It’s not Her – it’s Her!

Posted in Fixing a broken marriage with tags , , on March 31, 2019 by Accidental Masturbator

I started it. Not Her.
I reacted to Her naïve, optimistic fuck-up.
I tried to walk away.
I failed.
I walked back.
And then I sniped.
I started it.
I failed. Not Her.

And then We
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